Pompeii
by ohmyglobwhat
Summary: Continue on the journey with Arri Shepard and her crew as they take on the Reapers to save Earth and the Galaxy. Continuation of Come With Me Now - established relationship.
1. Chapter 1

_***Note: Garrus and Shepard are on different 'timelines'. Shepard is viewing everything as a rapid flashback, Garrus is currently living out events after the war. I will put a little note ate the top so you know what timeline we are in. Please let me know if you think this screws up the story flow, it would be fairly easy to clip it and change it so its more like the normal storyline fics. I'm trying something new and I dont know if it will blow up in my face. I will skim over large chunks just to push the story ahead quicker, since my focus will truly be on my next section (Shut Up and Dance). I refuse to accept biowares ending. I honestly don't know how well this turned out, I've gone back and edited it so many times that I think I'm just making it worse! I hope you still enjoy! As always, please leave constructive criticism! I'm just doing this to justify the time I spent on it!***_

 _Currently Editing again, Sorry! Chapters 1-12 finished editing 6.30.15 - Still wanting to work on the rest. Thanks for your support and encouragement!_

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She sat up erect the minute her eyes opened. _What..._ She looked around frantically. The last thing she remembered was falling. A thick fog surrounded her, muted colors swirling in its mass. As she blinked, an image began to focus. A violent red light pulsed, cascading across the universe, reapers falling dead in its wake. The Normandy fled hard, her engines burning, Joker desperately trying to escape.

The fog turned white and swirled like smoke around her as she rubbed her eyes. More of the world opened around her: the earth beneath her was grey, thickly leaved trees loomed overhead. She looked down at her body, her broken and bloody armor had been repaired. She felt none of the pain from her wounds, because they were no longer there. It frightened her. She heard the soft rumble of someone speaking off in the distance and stumbled towards it, trying to get her bearings. The fog parted on a bar in the center of the woods; a Salarian, a Drell and a dark haired human sat drinking together. A large screen above it displayed the Reaper war, a large red pulse permeating the Galaxy. One turned to face her.

"Ah, Shepard. Was wondering when you would wake up." He smiled at her.

"M…Mordin?" She narrowed her eyes confused.

"Greetings, Siha." Thane bowed his head.

"Sup, Commander?" Ashley grinned widely.

"What are you all doing here?" She looked around, "Better yet, what is here?"

"Heaven, Shepard. Seems fitting you wanted a bar." Mordin smiled at her.

 _…If this thing goes sideways, meet me at the bar…_

She turned on her heel and scanned the area. Aside from the three at the bar, the only things she could see were towering trees fading into the thick white fog.

"Is…anyone else here?"

"No, commander, Joker got the rest out safely." Ashley smiled and stood to greet her, embracing her warmly. "It's great to see you again."

She returned the hug, "You too, Ash. I'm so sorry that-"

She laughed, interrupting, "Its alright, Shep."

Shepard turned to Thane, "Kolyat is doing well. Bailey has actually taken him under his wing and he's considering a career in law enforcement, you'd be proud if you saw him."

Thane stood and bowed to her, she lunged forward to embrace him. He chuckled lightly, "Thank you, Siha."

She smiled over to Mordin, he stood and held his arms out. She wrapped herself in them.

"Oh Mordin, I wish you could see the Krogan." He let her go and they resumed their seats at the bar, Shepard in the middle. "The cure worked beautifully, Eve is currently pregnant and couldn't be happier. And once the war is over, Wrex is going to fight for a new colony world and it looks like they are going to get it."

"That's excellent news!" He smiled, then pointed to the screen. "Would you like to join us, Shepard?"

She looked up and watched the reapers falling, crashing hard into the earth.

"What is it?"

"It's how we've been watching over you, Siha." Thane stood and went behind the bar, handing her a drink.

"Everything you see is happening right now." Ashley added, sipping her beer. Thane handed her a glass, she sipped it, vodka cranberry. She smiled. "Have to say, I'm a bit surprised you chose to destroy, commander."

"As am I, you always opposed destruction, extinction… yet you didn't hesitate to destroy the reapers." Thane sat back down beside her. "Why?"

She fell silent for a moment, it ate at her that she'd chosen destruction. But she had faith in her friends, and she had to take revenge for the countless number of lives that were taken thanks to the Reaper cycles. Even she had a breaking point.

"Well, when you think about it that way, it makes perfect sense." Ashley laughed. Shepard blinked, "We're in your heaven, we can hear your thoughts."

"Warn me next time, I'll think of something pervy just for you." She glowered.

"Next time?" She laughed, "Plan on dying again?"

That's right…she was dead. In her joy of seeing them all again, she'd overlooked that blatantly obvious, very important fact. She took a long swig of her drink and wished it was stronger. It wasn't that she was afraid of death, but it ached to know she would never see her friends again, never see Garrus again. She stared up at the screen to watch the final events unfold.

Her trust had been well placed. Thanks to the Geth and their new Reaper code, they were able to specify the blast to only wipe out the reapers. In fact, it was a Geth Prime that detected the flaw. The Crucible was in-discriminant and the Geth, while desiring the reapers destruction, did not want to die. She watched as the red glow passed over Geth forces, washing over them harmlessly as the reapers fell around them. She smiled and thought of Legion, she hoped he would have been happy. She knew how Joker felt about EDI, but war left little room for romance… now they would have that chance.

The camera switched to view the Normandy, running hard and fast from the blast before coming to a crash landing on a garden planet. The door opened and Joker, followed closely by EDI, stepped out. Her heart wrenched as Garrus stepped out behind them. _He was safe. He was safe. He was safe_. Her heart chanted loudly in relief.

Thane clasped her hand and she gripped it tightly. Her other wiping a tear from her face. She would never see him again, but he was safe. She watched the memorial wall, saw him run his fingers tenderly across the plaque with her name on it. He hesitated, she could see he didn't believe she was dead. He turned to Joker.

 _"Joker…can we head to earth? I… I need to see for myself." Joker nodded and headed up to the helm._

 _Garrus tucked the plaque under his arm and headed into the battery alone, ignoring Tali's attempts to console him. He sat on his bed and hung his head, running his fingers along the inscribed plate as the ship began the long, arduous task of returning to earth. If they left now, they may have enough provisions to make the several month journey, made such with the destruction of the relays._

She looked away.

"Shepard," Mordin put a hand on hers, she looked up and he smiled. "We did not bring you here to mourn. We came to join you in observing your life."

She blinked, confused.

"Think of this area of heaven as a kind of purgatory." Ashley added, "You review your life and the universe makes a decision. Do you stay in heaven, go to hell, or are you reincarnated?"

"Mordin, if you'd please." Thane gestured to the television. Mordin punched some things into his omni tool and a scene from what was now her past flashed up on the screen.

She stared, bewildered as she watched her life in third person unfold. The screen displayed her initial departure on the Normandy, the initial assault on earth, the thousands that had died on the first day, the little boy she couldn't save who's form the Catalyst had used to speak to her. She felt every hit like it was still happening; the shockwave of the dreadnaught, the sharp tumble down the concrete, all of it. This was going to be painful…

**The rest is first person for Garrus and Shep!**


	2. Chapter 2

She'd been confined for nearly six months. And, thanks to the door guard James Vega that time flew by as best it could. She missed Garrus more than anything, but they refused to let her contact him. Not only had he immediately joined her after her resurrection into Cerberus, but he was also a vigilante from multiple different law agencies. At least he was according to the Alliance. Her understanding was that Palaven Command had taken him back in almost immediately, probably due to his father's pull with the Primarch.

She did know that his mother had passed. Her heart wept for him and she managed to drink Vega under the table long enough to steal his data pad and send him a quick message. An apology that she couldn't be there for him, and hoped he was well. But, more than anything, she missed him.

She hoped the message actually got through, and she had no way to know if he replied because Vega never told her anything. She really liked the young marine, but he was good at following orders and refused to bend them even for the 'Great Commander Shepard'… Probably because her title had been revoked pending a hearing with Alliance command. She never told him she sent the message, but she knew he knew based on the look he gave her. He held up the data pad so she could see what he was doing, and deleted her message. That way no one could easily see what she had done. At least in that he'd bent the rules for her and probably saved her another few months of confinement.

 _The hell is he?_ She pondered as she sat at her desk reading a book on her data pad. She looked out her window at a little boy playing on the rooftop. Vega usually came by around this time with beers for her, followed by her either kicking his ass at poker or him kicking her ass at video games. She was a sore loser, but then again so was he.

The door whooshed open and she turned to face him.

"Commander." He saluted.

"Not supposed to call me that, remember James?" She teased.

"Whatever, the defense committee needs to see you, now." His normally taunting tone was urgent.

"Whats up?" She immediately set her book down and walked over to him. The hall was full of people in uniform power walking from point A to B. "Why is everyone in such a rush?"

"Dunno, all I know is they want to see you, now."

Anderson met them in the hall. He'd visited her regularly, they'd shared a few beers, going over the time when she lived with him, and how grateful he was he could legally have her under lock and key now. Reminiscing about the good old days, like him punching Udina and her stealing the Normandy. She glowered at him when he mentioned she was soft around the edges.

"Yeah, not diving for my life every day really lets the muscles go soft." She rolled her eyes, "And that hot food and soft bed? Damn, if I don't feel like a puddle."

She asked the same question she'd asked James, but she didn't get a lot more from him except something big was coming and Hackett was mobilizing the fleets. She froze in her steps, her heart sank.

"Reapers."

"We don't know that yet. But we've lost contact with the Council and the other races." He shook his head.

"If it is them we aren't ready, not by a long shot."

"Tell that to the defense committee." He turned to walk away from her, she had to jog to keep up.

"I did that before, remember?" She matched his pace the best he could, "Besides, all they could do is talk the reapers to death. And from what Sovereign and Harbinger have showed me, they'd win the talking thing."

"They are just scared." He scolded, the father tone seeping into his voice. "You are the only one who has seen what they plan to do to us. You know more about this than anyone."

"So that's why they grounded me? Took my ship? Locked me up?" She stopped in her tracks, people sidestepped around them, "Why they basically slapped a giant mute button on me and the whole story?"

"You know that isn't true." He chided. "The kind of shit you've pulled? Anyone else would have been tried, court-martialed and left to rot. It was your antics that kept that from happening."

"That…and your good word." She added quietly. She knew he'd stuck his neck out for her, risked his entire career for her. She was very certain that was the real reason she wasn't in jail for life.

"Yeah, I believe you. The defense committee does too." He motioned her to follow; there was no time to wait. "Just be you and talk to them, and do whatever the hell it takes to stop the reapers."

They entered the foyer to the committees office, James stopped her and wished her luck. She turned to continue and came face to face with Kaiden. She hadn't seen or heard from him since their encounter on Horizon. Her hairs stood on the back of her neck.

"Sheperd." There seemed like there was more he wanted to say.

"Alenko." She stayed cold, and why shouldn't she? He'd abandoned her when she needed him. Yeah she knew he had to 'look out for number one' but it still ate at her.

"Major, how'd it go in there?" Anderson asked, Kaiden quickly answered.

"Major?" She interjected before she could stop herself, h _e'd been promoted?_

"Sorry, I meant to tell you but-"

"Yeah, I get it, payback's a bitch." She brushed past him, heard Anderson apologize behind her as she pushed through the doors to the conference room.

James hung back with Kaiden, he wasn't invited to the meeting so all he could do was sit back and wait. He tried to be civil with the other man, but Shepard had told him all about her dealings with Cerberus. Both the formal debrief, and all the times she told the illusive man to shove it where the sun didn't shine. He felt like he knew exactly what went down, and she hadn't kept any secrets from him.

That's why he didn't snitch about the message she'd sent to the Turian, though he could've gotten into deep trouble over it. He knew their relationship. And someone that important, you should be there when family goes. He hated that he couldn't show her his reply. Maybe he could show her after the meeting? It'd been a long while, but maybe she'd want to read it none the less.

"So, you and the Commander are close?" Kaiden tried to make small talk as he awaited orders.

"Mhm." James grunted, crossing his arms and staring at the Major.

"Ah, I take it she's told you." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I wish she'd give me the chance to apologize."

"You wanted to apologize?" James raised his eyebrow at him, "You do realize she's been locked up down the hall for five months right? Only Alliance personnel are allowed to talk to her. Pretty sure that includes you."

"You weren't there, you don't know what it was like for me."

"And you don't know what it was like for her." James retorted. Kaiden was about to continue when they heard a large crash and screaming on the other side of the door.

James tried to open it, but the circuits were fried, and something was blocking it.

XXX

She heard a voice in the distance calling her name. She blinked and rolled onto her side, rubbing her eyes to try and see again. The defense committee was finally listening, now that it was too late, when the Reapers were already here. The invasion had begun.

She tried to remember what happened, the world still sparkled a bit from the impact. They'd been hit directly by a reaper, the entire defense committee was scattered dead around her. She heard her name a bit louder and Anderson grabbed her arm, pulling her up. He handed her a pistol and the set out among the ruins, Anderson trying to get in touch with anyone. Kaiden answered first. She barely heard anything he said. She looked out at the reapers landing in downtown. Each step they took destroying buildings, their beams taking out any aircraft with ease. How the hell were they going to stop this?

It was nice to fight alongside Anderson. Old man still had some fight left in him. They worked their way through the battlefield that had once been downtown Vancouver. They met the new monstrosities the Reapers had cooked up and finally got in touch with the Normandy. She swept in like an avenging angel, bringing reinforcements to their desperate plight since their ammo reserves were completely depleted.

She bolted to her real home, that beautiful ship that had been, quite literally, to hell and back with her. She felt a jolt of energy as soon as her boot hit the hangar. She turned on her heel, ready to help Anderson, only to see him stopped short at the edge of the ramp, ordering her to leave.

"Like hell I'm leaving you here!" She shouted from the safety of Normandy's bay door. "Now stop arguing and get your ass in here!"

"We need everyone in this fight with us. You know that." He stood his ground, "Go and talk to the Council, convince them to help us."

"What if they won't listen?" She felt her voice crack. She had to leave the man who had become her father on a planet being overrun by reapers.

"Make them listen. That's an order."

"I don't take orders from you, remember?" She tried to joke but the laugh caught in her throat.

"Consider yourself reinstated… smart ass." He smiled at her and tossed her dog tags up to her. "You know what you have to do."

She paused briefly, this was too hard. "I'll be back for you. And I'm bringing every fleet I can."

"Good." He grinned, "Now get to it."

"Good luck, Anderson."

"You too, Arri."

Leaving Anderson was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. He'd commanded her to leave, he'd refused to join her. Her fingers clasped hard around her dog-tags, the blunt metal digging in to her fingers. And James barking in her ear about going back was grating. She whirled on him.

"Enough! Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight?" She snapped, "We're _going_ to the citadel. If you want out, you can catch a ride back from there."

She hadn't meant to snap so hard at James, he'd always been so kind to her, so amusing during her confinement. She'd kicked his ass at cards more times than she could count and they'd become very close friends; she viewed him almost as a little she was in pain. The man who'd filled in the role of her father forced her to get out of the Sol system, to leave earth and him behind to begin the arduous task of uniting the fleets. His words voiced exactly how she felt, but they had to push on.

She answered the call from Hackett, it was choppy, but EDI was amazing.

She closed the message and ordered her crew to grab their gear, it was time to go save Liara.


	3. Chapter 3

Garrus' timeline:

Garrus tossed and turned. He hadn't been hopeful for sleep, but had lied to himself; saying that if he lay down for a few minutes, certainly he would fall asleep. It had been three days. Certainly exhaustion would have overridden grief by this point?

His eyes rolled over to the plaque where it resided on his tactics console. Now that the war was over, there was no need for it. He didn't think he'd miss it, but he'd gladly take the grief of deciding someone else's fate if it meant she'd be curled up against his side once more. Spirits he would kill for it. He'd die for it. He could have faced down anything with her at his side.

But she would just yell at him if he did.

He sat up from his cot. Well, if sleep wasn't on the agenda he had plenty of other things to do. He stretched and stood. After she…left…command of the Normandy switched to him. It was an almost welcome distraction, even if the reason was what he needed distracted from. He trailed his fingers across the engraving before turning to leave the battery. There was still so much left to do to repair the Normandy's FTL drive.

The hours blurred together. He spent the better part of it calibrating the guns, just in case something else decided to take a swing at them as they limped back to earth. The engines didn't really suffer much, but they had to take it slow and give them a bit of a break, according to EDI. Seeing her and Joker was difficult, but they were nice enough not to flaunt themselves in front of him. Tali pushed food in his face nearly the entire day, he lost count of the number of times he'd ignored her.

Garrus sat down on his cot and leaned forward on his hands, letting a heavy sigh escape. He was so tired. He'd managed to choke down some food but it held no taste for him, he had no appetite and only ate to try and get Tali to stop fretting over him. Just like the only reason he was 'attempting' to sleep now was because she had insisted on it. He knew she meant well, but it just annoyed him. How many times did he have to say he was fine?

How long until he believed it?

He reached into his pocket and wrapped a thin chain around his fingers, holding the pendants in his hands. It was his old visor and the crystal from Bakara. She said she'd hold on to it, evidently she'd worn it since her imprisonment. The metal edges were worn as if they'd been thumbed over in thought day after day.

How long until the galaxy felt less empty?

He'd missed her so much. He'd sent messages from home, telling her about his mothers passing, about a breakthrough in treatment thanks to her funding and his mother's cadaver. He wanted her to know her mother had thanked her, his father and sister had thanked her. He wanted her to know that he loved her. Yes, he had told her eventually, but he wanted to tell her sooner. The message from Anderson had enraged him.

 _Until further notice, there will be no communications with the Commander. She is under strict confinement and has requested you be informed of this loss of contact. Please do not attempt to send messages to her, as they will be deleted upon arrival. If you attempt to approach the facility, you will be arrested on sight. The entirety of the Normandy crew who served during her involvement with Cerberus are wanted for questioning, if you see them, please pass that message on. However, as we do not have enough evidence for a warrant, so long as you remain off premises we will not attempt detainment._

 _On a personal note, stay away if you don't want to get arrested and have Shepard 'tear you a new one for being stupid'. Her words, not mine._

 _Take care of yourself,_

 _Anderson_

He ran his thumb along the names and remembered how he'd felt hearing Earth had been hit hard by Reaper forces. Even on Menae, the situation looked grim. He knew his communications would be intercepted, but he still tried as soon as he'd heard. He didn't know if she was alive, or if her name would be listed among the dead. He couldn't help but smile at the memory of her on Menae, at the wave of relief that had crashed over him seeing her alive and fighting on that moon. Not to mention giving the General a run for his money. He shook his head, he couldn't think like that, no reminiscing about how she emwas/em when she could very well still be alive. He forced his eyes closed, doubting that sleep would come.


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard's timeline:

Her demeanor towards Kaiden was a stark contrast to her attitude with James. Then again James hadn't abandoned her when she needed him, he'd pulled her back up, and he didn't question her. And though they had discussed her ties with Cerberus during imprisonment, he believed everything she said the instant she said it.

It didn't take long after they landed on Mars before Kaiden started to grate on her nerves. Why is Cerberus here? What are you not telling us? Seems like they had inside help… She felt the anger bubble up inside of her before she whirled on him.

"Something you wanna say, Major?" Her tone was acid, she wanted a fight, and so far, Kaiden was the only one willing to oblige.

"I need a straight answer; do you know what they're doing here?" He squared off.

"How they hell should I know?" She tossed her arms in exasperation as she turned to continue the assault.

"They rebuilt you from scratch, you worked for them… you can't honestly expect me to believe you've cut all ties." He scoffed.

She ground her teeth.

"Let me be clear." She punctuated every word, she clenched her fists at her sides, trying so hard not to just shoot him, "I didn't work for them, I worked with them. And I haven't had any contact since I told the Illusive man to shove it."

James backed her up. "She hasn't had any contact with anyone outside of Alliance Command."

"Sorry…I just -" Kaiden began to backpedal. Part of her knew he was doing the same thing she was... trying to forget they just left all their friends to die.

"You wanna hate Cerberus? Fine. But I am done explaining myself to you. Clear?" But the other part of her didn't care.

"Perfectly. I didn't mean to—" They were interrupted by the sound of gunfire. They took to cover and only emerged when they realized it was Liara. She instructed James to stand down, that she was a friend, he complied immediately. Liara was understandably confused, but after Shepard's explanation, the confusion was quickly replaced with excitement.

"Hallelujah, some answers, finally." She had to admit she shared James' exasperation. She was a bit curious as to how the hell some hidden library on Mars could help them kill the reapers. Unless they were hiding some kind of megacannon, this was a waste of time.

Of course Liara had the answers, she was the Shadow Broker after all. She explained why she had arrived in the first place, and explained the blueprints for the Prothean device. She hated that it wasn't ready. They both knew what it meant...millions more would be lost before they were able to fight back. And even that wasn't a guarantee. She shook her head.

"It's more than we had a minute ago." Shepard tried to find the silver lining.

"So it's a race to the archives?" James sounded a bit too excited, until she sent him back to the shuttle. He argued, but obeyed the order. She hated pulling rank on her friend, but she needed him to cover the exits.

They fought their way through to the tram station, discovering everything that had gone down at the archives along the way. Hundreds of dead civilians and Alliance personel, killed simply because they stood between the Illusive Man and something he wanted. Cerberus…No, the Illusive Man would pay for this. The station was cleared, but now they were stuck. They were locked out.

She cursed under her breath when Liara informed her. But then Kaiden came up with a rather ingenious plan. Trick them into thinking their own team was waiting, that the Alliance had been taken care of. She smiled at the manipulative plan, and sent him to find a communicator. Liara gave her a sidelong look.

"The Major has become quite capable." Her tone was soft, but felt implying.

"Yeah, he is." She raised an eyebrow at him and was about to press when Kaiden called her over.

He opened the helmet as she arrived.

"My God… He looks like a husk…" Kaiden gagged and stepped away.

Though it was monsterous, it was noting compared to her first encounter with a husk. She was so desensitized to the smell and sight of husks that it didn't phase her, she crouched down low and dug in his helmet, moving his face aside to get to the communicator. Was something wrong with her that this didn't bother her anymore?

"They did this to their own guy?" Kaiden made a large gesture between her and the soldier, " _Now_ do you see why I was worried about you?"

"Kaiden—" She began, but he held up a hand.

"Don't try and explain it to me…I don't think I'd understand." He shook his head and sighed, looking her dead in the eye. "What I want to know… _need_ to know… Is if the person I fought for, the person I would follow to hell and back… is she still in there?"

"Have I really changed that much, Kaiden?" Her tone was exasperated. Part of her was unsure, she knew she wasn't the same person she was when they met, she'd died since then and gone through hell. But had it really changed her _that_ much?

"No...I just…I don't know." She saw the retreat, she let out a sigh.

"Nothing I say can convince you, will it?" She smirked at him, "You always were stubborn."

That earned her an exasperated, but genuine, laugh. "Me? Look who's talking."

She shook her head and called the Cerberus soldiers over the comm. Patching things up with Kaiden could wait, at least now they were on somewhat amicable terms. He suggested flanking them and she complimented his strategy, she could see how it fluffed his feathers, the pride was obvious on his face. She smiled, and ducked into cover with her sniper rifle.

The fight on the tram was precarious to say the least, even after they dismounted the fallen tram. She'd gotten so sick Cerberus soldiers diving into cover and hiding behind their shields that she leapt over a bit to quickly and paid a small price. A bullet had managed to lodge in her arm and didn't want to come out. It made lifting her rifle much harder but she'd have to suck it up. They were at the archives now.

The Illusive man popped up on the camera, and it felt so good to toss curses in his face. Until Kaiden shouted. A woman took off running, and they began the chase. This was the same woman she'd seen the in the videos killing all of those people. She couldn't wait to get her hands on the woman and get revenge for all the marines and civilians caught in her path.

But she didn't get that chance. James nearly killed them all with the shuttle, she went to check on him while Kaiden went to go see to Liara. He helped her up, but shoved her out of the way as Dr. Eva erupted from the wreckage. She lifted him by the helmet and tossed him against the shuttle.

"Kaiden!" She shouted, rushing forward as Eva slammed his head into the wall with a disgusting amount of force. Eva saw her approach, and dropped Kaiden, his body fell limp to the ground and slumped forward. Her heart raced. She unloaded two clips into the woman before she went down.

She shouted at James to grab that monstrosity, and soldier carried Kaiden back onto the Normandy. She set him down as gently as his mass would allow on the bed. She stared down and watched as the blood pooled beneath his skin from ruptured vessels. She could only imagine what it was doing to the inside of his skull. Her eyes were wide and wild, she never felt as helpless as she did when it came to critical injuries. Put her in a battlefield with flesh wounds… that she could handle. But this… she was lost.

Liara pushed her forward when all she wanted to do was stare Kaiden back to health. She knew it wouldn't help, but she couldn't do anything else. She rushed to the comm. when Hackett called. Their talk was brief, it had to be, Hackett was still trying to arrange what was left of the fleet. When the call was ended, she felt glued to the comm. Where was Anderson? Was he alright? Would Kaiden make it? Liara flooded in behind her, though Shepard barely heard anything she said.

Liara continued talking, ignoring Shepard's cold silence... it was grating…but in some way it helped. She walked into the comm., Liara in tow.

"If it's going to work, we need you." Liara tried to be comforting after her call with Hackett. Shepard froze.

"Why?" She gripped the railing as the air rushed from her lungs. "Why does everyone need _me_? What the hell makes _me_ so special?" She slammed her fists into the war room console. "Why did _I_ escape Mindoir? Why did _I_ survive Akuze? Why did Cerberus need _me_ to fight the Collectors? Why do _I_ have to leave Earth and rally the fleets?"

Her tone was sharp and Liara took a step back, unsure of what to say. Shepard looked at her and let out a ragged sigh.

"I'm sorry, Liara." She stood and placed a hand on the girls arm, "I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just…easier to stay and fight. But this? This feels like running away."

Liara gave her a gentle smile and held her hands. "You may be the one leading us, but you aren't alone, and none of us think you're running."

She felt her heart squeeze and she smiled at Liara. She saw the lost little girl in Liara's eyes, she didn't think that woman existed any more.

"I know I'm not…I couldn't do this without all of you."

"Isn't it worth trying at least?" She looked off to the side. "Commander?"

"I'm going to go check on Kaiden and James." She started to walk away, "Be sure to have everything ready by the time we reach the Citadel."

"I'm sure the Council will see the need to help." Liara sounded hopeful.

She smiled, "It'll be a hell of a short war if they don't."

She paid Kaiden a visit before heading up to speak with the Council. She understood their hesitation, she was foolish to think that they would jump to Earths aid. She knew they wouldn't be convinced, but she had to try.

"I believe it's worth a shot."

They declined aid, throwing Earth to the wolves as a decoy to save their own people. She hated it, it made her blood boil beneath her skin. But she understood. She couldn't honestly say humans wouldn't do the same, were the roles reversed. She met Udina in his office, he ranted on about the concilors.

"They're running scared." Udina snarled.

"Our people are scared, we are trying to help them the best we know how." The Turian councilor interjected. She nodded a greeting to him, Udina greeted him aloud. He informed her of the summit, and explained that the only way to get aid was to pull Primarch Fedorian from Menae and get him to the summit. She ground her teeth, she didn't see how it would help her, and she hated playing politician.

"If it will get you what you need, what does it matter?" The Turian explained. He briefed her on the mission to rescue the primarch, reinstated her specter status, and went on his way.

She picked up a very nice sniper rifle from the Spectre requisitions office before heading back toward the elevator. She saw James standing off to the side, staring listlessly through the window.

"Hey commander." He greeted when she approached, he sounded sad. He explained his frustrations, the eerie calm at the Citadel, fooling its residence that there was no war. The false sense of security.

"Its only a matter of time before they feel it too, all those refugees have to go somewhere." She took a place beside him at the window and watched the fountain below, "Let them enjoy their calm a few more days."

He thought for a moment, then nodded and fell silent.

"Still want to go back to Earth?" She promised herself she would support his decision, but she still hoped.

"Hell yeah...but..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"But..."

"You were right."

"I love hearing that." She grinned.

"Anderson was right." He corrected, rolling his eyes. "The real struggle will be getting help for Earth. I'm with you commander, hundred percent."

She gripped his hand in a firm handshake. "Glad to hear it James."

She grinned and promised to come and pay him a visit down in the lower levels, but that would have to wait. They had a Turian to save.


	5. Chapter 5

Dark trees loomed overhead, a lazy breeze carried ash through the air. She heard a child laugh, and saw a figure dart through the trees. She tried to follow, but she felt so sluggish. No matter how hard she tried to run, she couldn't move any faster than a slow walk.

She recognized this child. It was the little boy from the air duct, the first life she'd been unable to save. She was so close to reaching him when a reaper horn blared, a light flashed over them. The child cried out and ran, quickly darting out of view. She wasn't fast enough. She reached out to the boy, trying to pull him close, to protect him. He stood slowly and turned, locking eyes with her as he burned to ash.

She jolted awake with a gasp, nearly falling out of her desk chair, someone was knocking on her door. She had never been so relieved to be woken up. She opened the door and Liara erupted immediately with the latest update on the crucible. She let out a weary sigh, she appreciated the wake up call, but this was a bit much first thing. Liara seemed to catch on.

"Are you alright?" She asked gently.

"I didn't exactly get what you'd call a good night's rest." She sighed, rubbing the imprint of her data pad out of her cheek.

"There's more to it, what's really bothering you."

"It _really_ hurts how helpless I feel right now." She gripped the railing, gritting her teeth. "I know that we are going as fast as we can but… it's not fast enough." She turned back to face Liara. "And the other races…the Reapers are here, _now_ … how many civilians have to die before they do something?"

"At least they can't deny the reapers exist now." Liara found what little silver lining there was.

"Commander Shepard? I'm…. sorry to interrupt. I thought you were alone." Traynor approached and immediately tried to withdraw. Liara dismissed herself and she was introduced to the new crew member.

She smiled at the little trick Joker and EDI pulled on Traynor, but she ended that. She was part of the team, she needed to know the full ship, and all of its secrets. A quick update to Hackett and they were pulling up to Menae.

* * *

She tried not to look too long at the burning mass that was Palaven as they shuttled down to her top secret moon. She was terrified, but she couldn't let it show. Liara spoke for her, explaining to James that they had an old friend there, unsure of how much Shepard had told him. But as soon as she finished her sentence, James caught on to who the 'friend' was.

"Tough bastard that you say he is?" James rolled out his neck. "I'm sure he's giving the reapers hell. He'll be fine."

A small grin forced its way to her lips, "Thanks James."

The fighting began before they even touched the ground. Husks swarmed them, they had to push hard just to clear the area. The only good thing about being swarmed by husks was that she got to test out her new armor. Reckoning-Knight, it was called. She felt like a badass, her high tech armor mirrored that of old knights in stories, and the spikes on her shoulder and gauntlets were great at bashing in Husks faces. She loved it. The Turian at the gate gave them directions and they headed there immediately.

But nothing was ever simple, why would it be? They fought to the comm. tower, repaired it, then fought back to Corinthus when he said he had news. The reapers were here in force, she could only imagine what it was like on Earth, or Palaven, for the civilians. He finally gave her a name, but they had no idea where the man was and were having trouble raising him. She ground her teeth.

"Look, I don't care what it takes. _Find me the primarch."_ Her tone was exasperated, she had just about enough of running around on this damn moon while Earth burned.

"I'm on it Shepard." A familiar voice grumbled. It sent an excited chill up her spine.

"Garrus!" A wave of relief washed over her at he sight of him safe and sound in front of her. She'd thought he would've been on Palaven, fighting like she wanted to be on Earth...but seeing him there, even amidst the reapers, made leaving Earth a bit more bearable. "I thought you'd be on Palaven."

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven. I'm here… advising." He shrugged, she saw the same disdain in his situation that she had in hers, but damn it was so good to see him.

James and Liara came up beside them.

"James, this is Garrus Vakarian. He's a hell of a soldier." She smiled at him.

James shook his hand and turned to look at her, "Oh, so _this_ is the infamous Garrus?"

"Shut it, Lieutenant." She growled halfheartedly. She couldn't stop the subtle blush when Garrus grinned at her, she avoided his gaze.

"Good to see you too, Liara." He nodded in recognition.

They discussed the new Primarch. She liked his strategies, but focused on Garrus' opinion. Best way to find the make of the man was to ask his troops, and Garrus had fought along side him all morning, and knew quite a bit about him. He seemed to puff up when she focused on his opinion of the man, she couldn't help but smile. They turned and set out on their way.

If only she could carry a mounted gun with her everywhere, she absently pondered as she unloaded into several husks. James and Garrus hardly seemed to be taking this seriously, until the new reaper monstrosity knocked her off of the safety of the barricade.

She barely managed to keep rolling away from its punches, her only saving grace the delay after its charge. She rolled out from beneath it an unloaded a few clips into the back of its head. Garrus' sniper fired at him from the higher vantage point of the barricade, and James and jumped down on foot, ready to tangle with the beast. It was almost on her again when a shot rang out from Garrus' rifle, the beast roared, staggered, and went down hard a few feet in front of her.

"How did you manage to survive these encounters before me?" He quipped in her ear as he jumped down.

"What can I say? I'm having a hard time coming out of my vacation." She rolled her eyes and picked up some ammo before they turned to set off on foot. Somewhere on this moon there was a Turian who would, hopefully, come with her and attend the summit to get her Turian support for Earth.

Her first ever view of Palaven…and it was burning. She paused, what would Earth look like now if she saw it from Luna? Garrus grabbed her by the waist and flung her out of the way as a fighter came crashing down very close to them, bracing her against a wall. He stopped a few inches from her face as James tried to recover himself a few feet away.

"That was a little closer than I'd like." He grumbled, his eyes scolding as he towered over her. His eyes softened, "But this…Damn it's good to see you."

"Likewise, Mr. Vakarian." She pushed off the wall to stand.

"I love it when you call me that." He stepped back and let her pass, following closely behind. It wasn't that she was staring off into space, she did that often on the Normandy when she was thinking. It was that she did it in a war zone that disturbed him.

"So, Lola." James began after they'd set back off, "Do you really think this summit's gonna work?"

"It has to work."

"Lola?" Garrus quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Apparently, I look like a Lola." She shrugged, she liked the nickname.

" I mean…Asari, Salarians… Wheres the Krogan and Batarians? Wheres the meat?" James continued.

"Its not that simple." She shook her head, clambering over another rock.

"The Batarian's took the biggest hit, there's not really anything left of him." Garrus began, "And the Krogan… they still haven't forgiven us for the Genophage."

"Right," The James snipped, "The Turians sterilized them."

"The Salarians came up with it." He countered. She rolled her eyes. They may as well have their tongues sticking out at each other.

"And the Krogan hate them _both_ for it." She interjected.

"So, they won't be joining us." Garrus finished.

"Too bad. I've fought with a Krogan, they're tough sons-of-bitches." James shook his head. She agreed, she loved fighting with Krogan. It was nice to not be the only one rushing into the heat. Tali stayed back, Garrus stayed _way_ back, both were lethal, but it was nice to fight back to back with someone you knew could take a hit.

They made it to Victus' camp, it was overrun with reaper forces. A brute charged her and she sidestepped, they were ready for them this time. Garrus hit it with a concussive round, knocking it back; James hit it with carnage, tearing a hole in its armor. Shepard ran in with a heavy melee, ramming the blade of her omni-tool hard into the weak point. It went down hard.

She empathized with Victus. All you want to do is stand and fight…but the universe keeps tearing you away. Battle is easier than politics when your people are dying. She convinced him he was perfect for the job, and he was. They needed a soldiers perspective, and if that soldier had a few interesting tactics, that was even better. They shook hands firmly and loaded up on the Normandy.

* * *

She discussed progress with Hackett and checked in with the Primarch before heading to the CIC. She reached her arms over her head and yawned, shaking off the sleep that was trying to creep up on her. She rounded the corner to the ridiculous security check point when the lights flickered. She froze mid step. The Normandy never faltered, never failed. But the lights were flickering and she heard struggling noises radiating up from the core.

"The hell?" She muttered.

"Uh, Commander?" Joker sounded panicked. "EDI just went offline."

"What do you mean 'offline'?"

"I don't know! She's not responding and I can't access the AI core diagnostics. You'd better get down to deck three."

She hesitated at the entrance of the elevator, why did Cerberus have to get rid of her beloved stairs? She hated elevators to begin with, and the thought that she could get trapped in one scared the shit out of her. The lights flickered again. She clenched her fist and cursed under her breath before jumping in the elevator. Fortunately, there was no issue, though she did spring out of the elevator as if she were standing on hot coals the moment the doors reopened. She shook her head to snap herself out of it and pushed herself forward to the AI core.

She rushed in through the smoke and came face to face with EDI's new hot body. EDI quickly explained her altercation with Dr. Eva's body and the resource her new body could be.

"Nice going…just give someone a heads up if there is a next time." She rubbed the back of her neck, she really thought the Normandy was going haywire.

"While I do not see that as a future possibility, I will keep this suggestion in mind." She nodded, "I should take this body up to the bridge. Joker will want to see it."

She laughed, "On that, we can agree."

Now that Victus was settled in in the War Room and EDI had settled, she ordered Joker to set course for the Summit to meet with everyone. Well… the Turians, Salarian and Krogan.

She stepped into the mess hall and stretched out her neck, rolling out her shoulders. She looked towards the battery, and a smile crept up unbidden. Garrus was safe aboard the Normandy, tucked away in the battery like he always was. It brought a sense of calm, just knowing he was there. She turned on her heel and approached, hesitating at the door. She had no communications with him since her imprisonment, what if he didn't feel the same way? She shook her head and knocked. No answer. Her brow furrowed and she listened, he was talking to someone. She leaned in closer and the door whooshed open. She stood in the door way wide eyed but she didn't see him. She entered quietly and stood by his main terminal.

Garrus was talking to the Primarch. About her, and that she would get the job done. _No pressure, s_ he thought.

"She's an old friend of Urdnot Wrex.

"Lets hope friendship still counts for something in this war." The Primarch ended the call. She rounded the corner to see him elbows deep in the forward battery.

"Should've known you'd be calibrating already." She teased as she approached him.

"Yeah well, after what I've been through, calibrating a giant gun is relaxing. Gives me something to focus on." He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow and stood to face her. "Though is still hate leaving."

"Yeah..." She was quiet for a moment, "When I left earth… there was this boy, couldn't have been more than six or seven. I watched him die as the Normandy flew away. And here I stand. I'm alive, and he's not."

He put a hand on her arm, "I'm sure there was nothing you could've done." She stayed quiet, but nodded. Part of her had been waiting to hear someone tell her that. She leaned against the battery in a slightly awkward silence.

"Yeah so…Is this the part where we shake hands? I wasn't sure about the protocol on reunions." He looked away, "The scars are starting to fade, but I can go out and get all new ones if it'll help, I remember they drove you wild."

She couldn't help but laugh. He took her hands in his, "I've done some more *ahem* research on human customs. I didn't want to assume-"

She cut him off with a languid kiss. She pulled her hands free and wrapped them around his neck, pressing herself against him. His hands came around her waist, pulling her closer. She broke the kiss and smiled at him.

" _That_ is the protocol on reunions."

He laughed, "The vids mentioned it may go something like that."

She traced her fingers lightly along his mandible, happy to have him close. Happy that he still wanted her. "I can't promise how it'll work out, not with this war. But I missed you Garrus. I thought about you a lot, I wish I could have sent more messages..."

"Me too." He buried his face in her neck, he was surprised by his own relief she didn't reject him, he sighed. "But it's going to take a lot more than reapers to come between this cross-species liaison."

She smiled, pulled away a bit and cupped his cheek in her palm, he nuzzled into it gently.

"I'm sorry about your mother." She said softly. He reached up and cupped her hand harder against his cheek and closed his eyes. "More than that, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

"Well, it's not like we didn't see it coming." He looked up, "And thank you for that massive donation. Soon, no one else will have to go through that hell."

He filled her in on what he'd been up to, about his task force and his father, and sighed nostalgically about the past. Who would have thought they would be looking back on their time with Saren with fondness?

"Look at us, we're actually respectable now."

"I have a feeling that 'respect' comes with a lot of sleepless nights."

"Well, just remember a certain Turian isn't going to be getting much sleep either and would be more than happy to drink you under the table." He moved in closer, pulling her gently into his arms, "Or, you know, anything else you could come up with.".


	6. Chapter 6

Garrus' timeline:

He felt her laugh more than he heard it, a soft movement of her shoulders. He felt the warmth of her against his cheek, her arms wrapped firmly around his neck, he could smell her…that warm subtle scent he couldn't place.

He shot up from his cot wide eyed. He touched his hand to his cheek and looked around frantically. He'd felt her. It had been a dream but he had actually felt her, he'd smelled her, she'd been in his arms.

 _You'll never be alone._

He shook his head and leaned forward, swinging his legs off the cot. He'd been asleep, he didn't know how long.

 _I'll be watching over you._

He felt surprisingly refreshed, like some of the pain had been taken away. He stood and headed out to the mess. He was ravenous.

"EDI, what's the status on our FTL repairs?" Garrus typed furiously in the console, renewed by a hot meal. If they didn't hit a major star system soon, they were going to run out of medical supplies. Dr. Chackwas had been improvising, only using medigel and non-reusable resources when absolutely necessary. Much to his dismay she had used up a lot of them when Shepard had demanded the evac, forcing him to retreat to safety.

It was hard to believe it had already been three months.

"We are at 60% completion. The nearest star system is over a week away and home to Tuchanka. Would you like me to plot a course?"

"Yes."

"Very well."

Garrus stopped typing. Why did she make him leave? Then again, had the roles been reversed and she'd been hurt, he wouldn't have hesitated to send her packing back to the Normandy. He flexed his hand, the tissue still taught from the skin graft. It ran from his palm up to his right shoulder. Supposedly if he kept moving it, eventually it would regain full function. He already had most of it, he was able to type only slightly slower than usual. Gripping and shooting, those were going to be more difficult. Hopefully he wouldn't need to shoot anything for a while.

He stared down at his console and a memory flashed unbidden in front of him.

 _…His eyes flicked over to his console and he got a wicked idea. He knew he may regret it later, and he'd never see it the same way again, but on some level he was perfectly ok with that. He pulled away from her, letting her go briefly. She looked at him confused as he lifted her off the bed and set her, bare assed on his console, pulling her hips to the edge._

 _"I'll admit, I like where this is go-oh.." Her sentence stopped short as his head fell between her legs, his tongue exploring her urgently. She sucked in a breath as her head fell back. She covered her face with her hands, gasping short, rapid breaths. His talons dug into her hips, holding her still though she desperately wanted to move her hips against him._

 _"Thank the spirits for long Turian tongues…" She murmured hazily, a smile on her lips, her hands gripping at his crest._

He gripped the edges of the railing, running a hand down his face as he puffed out a breath. That came out of nowhere. Well, he knew going in that would probably happen. He just wished it didn't happen after she was gone. He turned back to his console.

First things first, get the FTL up and running. They could refuel and restock with whatever the Krogan, whatever Wrex was willing to spare. Then they would continue their trek to earth.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard's timeline:

It was good to see Wrex again, though he was in rare form as he growled at the Salarian Dalatrass. She really was surprised that the conference didn't start another war, especially with the way he was throwing his weight around.

"I'll tell you what I need," Wrex braced himself on the edge of the table, it creaked under his mass, "A cure for the Genophage."

Her eyes flew nearly as wide as the Dalatrass'. She blinked in surprise, of course she was all for it, but the timing was terrible. She was a supporter of the Krogan and desired an end to the genophage, that's why she kept the data. To her immense surprise, Victus supported the idea as well. But the Dalatrass wasn't budging.

"Whether they deserve a cure is academic. It would take years to formulate one." Victus interrupted, his patience wearing thin.

"My sources say otherwise." He showed the inside leak of the STG base, with living, fertile females. The Dalatrass insulted his intelligence, lying through her teeth. Shepard had enough, she moved over to stand beside Wrex.

"How long do you think your people will last alone against the Reapers? Because if you don't give us that information, that's exactly what's going to happen." She crossed her arms and Victus approached her from the other side, leaving her cornered.

"And I'll be the last friendly Turian you'll ever see." His tone was low and ominous.

She rubbed her eyes before disclosing the location. She shouted after them.

"The ramifications of this decision will be—"

" _Nothing_ compared to what will happen if the Reapers win." Shepard shot back. "We're leaving."

Dalatrass' argument fell on deaf ears when the evidence was presented. A bully has few friends… She scoffed as they walked away, leaving her _alone_ in the room.

* * *

"I knew they'd never keep their word!" Wrex roared as he walked over to the door. "Lets see them try to stop a Krogan air drop."

"Wrex! No!" She whirled on her heel in time to see him drop out of the shuttle. "Shit."

She leapt out after him only seconds later to see two Salarians sprawled on the floor and snipers pointing at Wrex. She held up her arms and grabbed Wrex on the shoulder.

"Wrex, this is not helping. Please just stand down." She tried to diffuse the situation, trying to wedge herself between Wrex and the Salarians before a Salarian ran up and told his men to stand down.

"I don't trust a word they say." Wrex growled.

"Then trust _me_ , Wrex. I'll make it happen." She kept her tone gentle, and he reluctantly conceded to restraint.

"I won't rest until those females are back on our radioactive pile of rubble." He turned to follow the Salarians.

"I only need one war at a time, please." She sighed, rubbing her eyebrow as she followed him to his 'holding cell'. "Consider it a personal favor..."

"Radioactive?" Garrus tried to lighten the mood.

"Ah…Garrus. I just had to make friends with the one Turian who thinks he's funny." Wrex grumbled.

"Imagine how I feel." He quipped, "I'm supposed to hate Krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your _winning_ personality."

"I can throw a few Salarians off a cliff if it'll make you feel better."

It was relaxing watching Garrus and Wrex banter. The Salarians restraining Wrex didn't seem to think so. She never thought she'd miss their time hunting down Saren. Shepard left Wrex to mope and noticed a familiar face on her way to the lower floor. She stopped to greet Major Kirrahe before making her way over to the elevator. The moment the elevator opened, sirens began to blare. They needed to get the females out, now.

"You sure know a lot of people in high places, Lola." James stared in awe.

She laughed, "Yeah that happens when you go through shit with the grunts. They tend to get promoted."

The elevator door opened to the lower level and a familiar face greeted them.

"Mordin!" Shepard greeted, excited yet confused. He whispered to her that he was Wrex's inside source.

"You sneaky little pyjak." She laughed, "I love you."

She consoled the female Krogan the best she could, hoping her words wouldn't fall on deaf ears. "I'm fighting for the future of the Krogan race. I promise you, we will get you safe back to Tuchanka. We _will_ cure your people."

They headed to the elevator, ready to meet Mordin and the female topside. The door opened to reveal a rather large bomb set to go off any second.

"Oh crap…" Garrus muttered.

"Get down!" She grabbed his shoulder and they dove to cover. "James, you alright?"

"I'm good!" He struggled up to his feet.

Picking their way through the initial Cerberus troops, they cleared the first checkpoint. They continued to fight up the levels. A yahg ran past, roaring at them.

"Careful, there goes the next Shadow Broker." She looked over her shoulder and winked at Garrus.

"Could've sworn it was muttering 'T'Soni' the whole time." Garrus added laughing. She wished she'd have brought Liara.

They finished off the remaining troops, the female taking out the last two. She glowered at Wrex and shoved the shotgun back into his hands.

"I can take care of myself."

Shepard had to refrain from clapping. She'd never met a female Krogan before, first impression was good. She was beginning to understand why people kept comparing her to one, it was a compliment in her book. With this female and Wrex on the throne, the Krogan had a chance. And thanks to Mordin's brilliance, they were going to get their cure. Shepard couldn't be happier.

Back on the Normady, Wrex was being a monumental pain in the ass. He wanted the cure finished and dispersed before he would even _consider_ lending Krogan aide. She loved him, but she wanted to punch him. Then again, a headbutt may work better. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to keep herself calm.

Yes she understood why... that if he didn't make this happen while he had this much leverage he wasn't going to get it. This was his only guarantee… but the longer he waited, the worse it was on Earth, the more people were slaughtered or turned. She sighed audibly.

Mordin assured her that he could get it done and suggested she talk to Eve. She made the grave mistake of asking if there was anything else from Wrex or Corinthus, where she essentially learned: 'I have a problem, but I want you to go out of your way to talk to me in private about it.'

"Fine, I'll come to you just…be ready to talk when I do." She snapped before walking away.

She made her rounds and stopped by engineering. She scooped up her model ships muttering to herself about Anderson having no sense of fun when Boo ran by. She grabbed him up quickly and stuffed him in her pocket where he wiggled violently before settling. She grabbed the model ships, dropped everything off in her cabin, and went to go visit Eve.

* * *

"Aware Krogan females find scars attractive. Garrus loyal, reasonably intelligent. Bit aggressive. Almost like Krogan."

"Woah, easy there Mordin, Garrus is taken." She stopped him.

"Don't worry, Commander, I've already turned it down three times." Eve sighed.

"Seriously, Mordin? Three times?" She crossed her arms. "He's taken, stop."

Eve stood off the bed to greet her.

"Commander, thank you for saving my life." She was surprised with the eloquence of the female as they continued to speak. She detailed the horrible experiments from Maelon, how she would never take it back, and the process of becoming a Shaman. She gave her a small quartz crystal, chips covered the outer edge of its pointed shape, but it had been polished affectionately and shone beautifully with a flaw of red iron streaked at its core.

"Take it as a reminder that even in our darkest hour, there is always a way out."

"Thank you so much." Eve placed her hand on hers.

"No commander, thank you." She squeezed firmly, her eyes searching. "I can recognize the burden on you that I have seen in the females, and understand your empathy. If it wasn't for you, this cure would not happen. I only wish there was something the Krogan could do for you."

Shepard felt a cold stab in the pit of her stomach. She'd made piece with it a long time ago, and she was madly in love with a man who biology would refuse to give her a child with, but she still couldn't help but feel flawed. "Thanks..."

She pulled her hand away and changed the subject, "How's Mordin treating you?"

They spoke briefly on several topics before her omni-tool pinged, pulling her away.

"Thanks for talking with me, Eve. You people have placed a lot of pressure on you, but I know you'll do great."

"No more than your people have placed on you. Maybe we can show the men how it's done." She smiled and sat back on the bed.

* * *

The mission on Tuchanka could have gone significantly better. The Primarch lost his son, though he'd been able to redeem himself before it happened so at least his father could be proud. They'd had a long discussion about his dishonesty, that she could have done more if she'd had all the details sooner.

Wrex didn't help. He'd come in, steam practically coming out of his ears in rage at the knowledge there had been a bomb on his radioactive heap. She snapped at the both of them and they backed down, Wrex even apologized. She braced her hands on the console. The Primarch thanked her for regaining her sons honor before walking off to have a moment to himself. She took a few calming breaths before pushing forward. Always pushing forward.

She stopped by and had a good laugh at Wrex's expense as he shifted uncomfortably in his armor.

"Let's just say scalpels were never meant to cut where he cut."

"Anything for a cure, right?" She jibbed. "So, what was it you needed to talk about?"

* * *

Off to save the scouts with the aid of Aralakh Company. After hearing the foe was likely Rachni, she hoped she wouldn't have to regret letting the queen live. She was overjoyed to see her little Grunt all grown up. Well, he'd never really been little but he was young. And now he was picking on the big kids. She grinned proudly, she hoped she'd had some influence.

"Glad you're here to crack some heads Shepard." He grinned and shook hands firmy. "If we're lucky it's a nest."

"Luck would make it a nest?" She shook her head, "Grunt, you and I need to have a conversation about what normal people consider lucky."

They searched the camp and gathered their supplies, heading out across one of the platforms. She looked over the edge and a chill ran up her spine. It took all of her effort not to freeze up. She hated heights. She braved a peek over the ledge when it shifted under their weight and slid from the cliff. She slammed hard into the ground, knocking the wind out of her.

"Ah, son of a bitch." She cursed, Garrus was at her side quickly, helping her up. She shouted up a response to Grunt, "I guess this would fall under your category of luck?"

He laughed, it echoed off the cavern and after checking to make sure nothing, including themselves, was too damaged by the fall to continue. They set off through the dark canyon. She couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of it. Stalacmites and stalagtites everywhere, dark grey caves lit by bright blue water, the air cool against her skin. She had a smile on her face until they found the webbing, and a few dead scouts, shortly after finding what the reapers did to the rachni.

They barely got out of the way in time as the roof of the cave slammed down hard behind them, blocking their exit. She confirmed with Grunt that they were all ok.

"Good, didn't want to dig ya out."

"Aw…that huts my feelings Grunt."

"Yeah yeah." He sighed.

She stopped by a familiar Krogan. Finding a note reminded her of who it was. _Oh blue rose of Illium…_ she took the datapad. The large wall slid down and revealed the rachni queen. She stormed forward, shaking her head.

"You were supposed to disappear!" She scolded.

"We remember…We've kept our promise, retreated back through the relay. We found a new home, beautiful children, harmony." She sounded sad, well the inflection in the tone of the Krogan's she was speaking through sounded sad. "But…the machines came. They heard our song. Their shriek of sour note drowned us out!"

She was enraged. She promised she and her children would fight to the last to defeat the reapers. All Shepard had to do was set her free. But she needed too much time to escape. She hated decisions like this. Ironically they were the decisions she had to make on a daily basis. Does take Aralakh company for the Rachni queen, or does she fight to save the species as a whole? A handful of Krogan weren't worth an entire race.

She scoffed, "Grunt, fall back to our position and lead us out."

"Damn you, Shepard!" Grunt shouted before following her order.

They made it out of the cave, they had to leave Grunt behind. She barely made it to the shuttle before falling forward on her hands. Her breaths were sharp, but it wasn't from running. Her hair fell forward to cover her face, hiding her expression of anguish. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder.

"Shepard, there was nothing you could have done." He soothed.

"I could have killed the queen from the start." She spoke through clenched teeth.

"No, you couldn't have."

He was right. Not even for Grunt she wouldn't doom an entire race. She thought of Anderson and all the alliance soldiers stuck back on Earth. "I cant keep losing friends."

"Don't count Anderson out just yet, remember he did handle you through your teenage years." He reached out to help her into the shuttle.

"I guess." She gave him half a smile. She looked up to see his eyes widen and his jaw drop and turned her head to see what was wrong.

She turned on her heel and sprinted forward just in time to catch a blood soaked Grunt, nearly collapsing under his weight.

"Grunt!"

Garrus ran forward and they loaded him on the shuttle. He needed a hospital, and Shepard was going to do whatever it took to save him.


	8. Chapter 8

Garrus' timeline:

"Garrus, we're landing on Tuchanka in twenty minutes. Wrex said he'll meet you at the landing pad with the supplies."

"Thanks Joker." He rubbed his eyes.

Good thing Wrex and Shepard had managed to get that nasty situation sorted out on Virmire. He couldn't imagine any other Krogan being as pliable. He'd had his doubts when they met in the hunt for Saren, but Wrex was a good man. One he had the honor of fighting beside.

He grabbed his gear and headed down to Tuchanka.

"Garrus, good to see you." Wrex grasped his hand firmly, meeting him on the landing pad. "Gotta say, you look like hell."

"Tactful, as always." Garrus let out a breathless laugh, "Thought maybe if I kept this up I could infiltrate the Krogan, steal your women."

"Please do. It's hard being the Alpha-dog now that their fertile." He leaned in close enough so only Garrus could hear, "I'm serious. These women are insatiable."

Garrus laughed, "I find it hard to pity you."

Wrex waved his hand and soldiers began to load up the shuttle with supplies.

"I'm not saying I don't appreciate the help, but are you sure you can spare all this?" He asked, eyeing the growing pile of crates loaded with medical supplies and food, both levo and dextro.

"Ever known a Krogan to use Medigel?" Wrex scoffed, "Better to die in battle. Besides, there's not much fighting; Krogan are now unified under Urdnot, the mighty clan who destroyed the reapers and cured the Genophage!"

A large varren ran up to the pair, sniffing at Garrus expectantly before growling. They both knew what he wanted, who he was looking for. Garrus patted him on the head, the varren whined and cooed into his palm. They both fell silent for a moment.

"She was a good woman. Not too bad for a human." Wrex grumbled.

"Yeah. She is." He glenched his jaw.

This was the most he'd spoken of her with someone since they lost her. He had to see for himself that she was dead. Then he would put the plaque up; then he would move on. His dreams weren't helping, she was in nearly every one like nothing had ever changed. He knew it was a long shot, but with how well the Crucible had worked, he couldn't help but hope.

Wrex laughed. "Stubborn Turian." He shrugged, "Lemme know if you find her, I owe her…well at this point a bar."

With the crates loaded up, he bid Wrex a fond farewell and loaded back onto the Normandy. A Krogan warship had fueled up the Normandy and they were ready to set back off on their journey to the Sol system, just a few more months. He let a sigh, it was getting harder to be hopeful.


	9. Chapter 9

(This chapter was massive after I edited it so I broke it into two, 9 and 9.5)

Shepard's Timeline:

The medical crew rushed off with Grunt, leaving her standing in the docking bay. She may as well check in with Kaiden and Thane while she was here, both of them had emailed her wanting to meet. She set off towards the elevator when a familiar voice called her name. She turned and her eyes went wide.

"Miranda?" She blinked. It wasn't safe for her to be on the citadel, not with Cerberus going crazy. While she was never truly a fan, she understood the changes you went through when in command. It could change the real you, if you let it.

"Its been far too long." She smiled, "I couldn't get near you while you were locked up."

"Well, thanks for trying." She said with half a laugh. They spoke of earth, her sister, and that Miranda was in trouble, but the woman wouldn't give her any details. Shepard offered her peripheral support, doing her best not to pry though her curiosity was piqued, and to let her know if she needed anything. She waved farewell and set off to the hospital.

She stopped in with Kaiden first. It was good to see him up. She'd been starting to wonder if she'd ever get to speak to him again. They spoke awkwardly for a bit before Kaiden looked at her intently.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow, "You're staring at me like I've got a spider on my face."

"I just wanna know… after Horizon, after Mars… you and me, we're good, right?" She could tell it was uncomfortable for him to ask. She smiled.

"Yeah, we're good. It was great to have you back on the Normandy." She smiled. "Oh, I got you this." She handed him the bottle of doctor approved whisky. He smiled and thanked her, promising they'd drink it when he was out. She encouraged him to be a spectre, he'd make an excellent spectre. After a moment, he grew quiet again.

"You know, I haven't been wrong about Cerberus… but I've been wrong about you. I owed you better than that, and I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Kaiden; that means a lot." She smiled and they shared a moment of peaceful silence before her omni-tool pinged, "I'd better get back to it, you'd get better quick so I can go back to tossing you on the front lines."

"Yeah," He laughed, "Will do."

She turned to leave the hospital and saw a very familiar Drell punching the air near a window. She smiled and approached him.

"Thane!" She smiled, "Good to see you staying in shape. How have you been?"

She was glad to hear he was keeping in touch with Kolyat, that boy needed help and she was glad Thane was here to give it. She'd have to remember to thank Bailey again. She caught up with him a bit, he promised to protect Kaiden, and she dismissed herself after thanking him for trying to send messages, and promising to stay in touch.

As much as she wanted to stay and catch up, she had a lot to do, and it was still just the beginning.

* * *

Traynor called out to her as she entered the CIC. "Commander, do you have a minute? I've picked up something unusual."

She reported the fake Turian signal coming from Grissom Academy. Those Cerberus bastards wanted everyone to think that the students were safe and sound while they took over the academy, doing god knows what to them. She set course for it immediately. The cure was nearly ready. They had time to save Grissom Academy, who's distress beacon would go unnoticed by any other ship. She never thought she'd be grateful that the Illusive Man sent her into that trap, if he hadn't, EDI may not have picked it up in time.

She made her way to the little kitchenette and made herself a large mug of black tea. She was taking a deep whiff of the lavender oils within when Garrus walked up and leaned on the counter, his arms crossed, staring her down.

She blinked and raised an eyebrow at him, "Yes?"

He continued to stare at her, unmoving. She felt very uneasy.

"Garrus, what is it?" She set her tea down.

"Ah, so you do remember me." He raised a brow plate at her. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me down here."

She sighed, "Sorry, Garrus. I've-"

"Been busy, I know." He sighed and pushed off the counter and moved towards her, pulling her into his arms and tucking her head beneath his chin. She relaxed quickly and curled her arms around his waist. "I had no illusions of us rolling around in your bed all day, but I have to admit, I kinda hoped."

She laughed softly, "That sounds like _much_ more fun."

"I guess I'll just have to hunt you down if I want to talk to you. Maybe even sneak up on you when you're sleeping." He pulled back and planted a kiss on her hair. Something seemed off about him. Her brow furrowed.

"Garrus, whats wrong?" She put her hand on his shoulder when she saw his face fall, "What is it?"

"Still no word on my father or sister." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the counter. "Getting a lot harder to stay hopeful."

"If they're anything like you," She smiled, "I'm sure they're fine."

"That's the thing about getting older, Shepard, the platitudes get just as old."

"Well, I'm nothing without my platitudes." She smiled raised an eyebrow at him, but he just shook his head.

"I'd better get back to work, I'll let you know if anything changes." He pushed off the counter and walked back to the battery.

She wanted to call out to him, but she didn't know what to say. She grabbed a cup of coffee for him and went to follow when Traynor called down that they had arrived at Grissom. She cringed. She set the drinks down and ran to the battery. She opened the battery, grabbed him by the mandibles and pulled him down to her face for a kiss. His eyes were open and he blinked down at her for a moment, before letting out a laugh against her lips. She broke away.

"I can't promise that I will make time for you because you and I both know I can't give time I don't have. But I promise I will try and do this more often." She kissed him once more. His arms came around her waist and pulled her against him, deepening the kiss until she pulled away to smile up at him. "Deal?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Now get your gear, we are heading down to Grissom academy."

He gave her a soft smile, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Seeing Jack had been quite the surprise. She looked amazing, and she was bossing the kids around, they all seemed to admire her. Her heart soared to see how well David was doing. She still remembered the feel of him in her head, pushing her forward to discover the truth. It gave her a chill and he seemed to notice it and smiled at her, it calmed her nerves and she returned it readily. She would never regret saving him, no matter how violent it had was glad she was able to get them all off the ship in one piece.

She'd had _way_ too much fun in the Atlas mech, and almost sent the Normandy back through to go get it until Garrus talked her out of it. She sighed, one of these days she was going to buy a damn mech and walk through the Illusive Mans base and just tear everything up.

She spoke with Anderson at the terminal as soon as she returned and let him know Khalee Sanders was safe, and he could rest easy. She new they didn't have a formal relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't love her like crazy. She signed out and stopped through the war room to check on all of their assets. They'd already made so much progress, but it still wasn't enough. She yawned. And sleep wasn't being her friend. She barely had the chance to lay down and attempt sleep, there was always one more thing she could do. And those few times where sleeps blissful hold took her, she was wracked with nightmares, leaving her more tired upon waking.

She looked at her mission log, she'd have a few hours before she was required to do anything, and Liara wanted to speak with her. She could invite Liara up, do whatever she wanted, then lay her head down after a few glasses of wine and hopefully have a nice, dreamless sleep.

She was snuggled up on the couch with her hamster when Liara came up and 'wrote her name in the stars'. They shared a surprisingly peaceful moment, and a few glasses of wine, until Joker piped up. It was time to cure the Genophage. She cringed internally. Now the wine had her nice and relaxed and she was so ready to just close her eyes for a few moments, and now she had to drag her ass off the bed and get back to work. She was so tempted to tell them it would have to wait a few hours, but Wrex was already blowing up her omni-tool to get to work.

 _Like to see your ass jump up at the drop of a hat with no sleep you grouchy old bastard._ She growled in her head as she stepped into the elevator. She stopped by and grabbed a few stims from Mordin, ignoring his warnings and concerns for her health due to her lack of sleep and pressed forward.

She grabbed her gear, along with Garrus and James, and headed down to the shuttle. She was about to step into the elevator on the CIC when Joker piped up about a message from the Dalatrass. She motioned them to go on without her and stopped by to answer the call in the war room.

"What do you want, Dalatrass? I'm a bit busy." Her patience was already thin thanks to lack of sleep, but the stims just made her a bit more snappy.

"Commander you cannot allow your misguided sympathy for the Krogan to impair your judgement." She scolded.

"The Krogan deserve a chance. You can't doom an entire race due to what 'might' happen." She crossed her arms. "Besides, the Krogan have been significantly more forthcoming with their intentions than the Salarians up to this point."

The Dalatrass defended her actions, scolded Shepard once again, and began explaining the exact details as to how Shepard could fool the Krogan and get both races support for the fight.

"…No one will be any the wiser. Let Urdnot Wrex believe it worked." She finished her speech, then tried bribing her. Shepard laughed in her face.

"So you're telling me, the woman who saved your life I'd like to mention, that you'll only help my race if I not only destroy the hope and future of the entire Krogan race, but to lie and deceive one of my best friends in the process?" She shook her head as a snide grin spread across her lips as she scoffed, "You've got a quad, Dalatrass."

She took a step back and held up a hand, as if Shepard had thrown something at her, "Commader, that was very inappropriate. And if you want my ships, you'll do what I say."

"And if you want to survive the reapers you'll do what I say." She sliced her hand through the air, signaling she'd had enough, "Hide in the shadows if you want, let all of history know how the Salarian's Dalatrass cowered in fear."

She cut the comm. before the woman could reply and headed down to the Hollows.


	10. Chapter 9-5

Shepard's Timeline cont'd:

The situation was tense to say the least, she kept Mordin just behind her to be safe. She'd meant to reveal the sabotage, but she didn't get the chance on the shuttle, and it didn't seem wise to do so in present company. They already wanted to rip Mordin to shreds, she didn't need to add any fuel to that fire. Wrex's brother Wreav made that blatantly clear.

There was a lot of growling and showboating, as there always is with Krogan. Wrex silenced him with a heavy headbutt.

"Because I trust him, and so will you." He growled at his younger brother. Guns were drawn.

A battle almost started until Eve broke the silence, instructing the men to fall in line for the good of their children and the future of Tuchanka. Shepard immediately supported her, and as soon as Wrex jumped in, the others fell in line. They loaded up into the Tomkahs and Shepard confirmed with Artimec that they were on their way.

"Commander, back on the shuttle you were about to say something." Eve pressed.

"The Dalatrass tried to cut a secret deal with me." She played the recording.

"And she thought we wouldn't know?" Wrex didn't even sound mad, he just laughed.

Mordin handled the information with Grace, as was to be expected. Eve thanked her for saving her race another Genocide, Wrex threw in his two cents as well. She smiled until the trucks ground to a halt at the dilapidated bridge. They all stepped out to investigate just before half of the convoy was taken out by a member of Artimec wing. The trucks fled, leaving Shepard and her crew behind with the destroyed vehicles and dead Krogan. They lept over a narrow gap and headed deep into the bowels of Krogan ruins. She hated the dark, she hated using her narrow beamed flashlight even more.

"You're a trail blazer Shepard!" She sighed, Wrex was not helping.

They learned about Kalros, the mother of all thresher maws. They were in trouble if she was the one causing all of these tremors. After fighting their way through hordes of reapers, they managed to make it back up to the surface. The ruins were massive, and amazing. Who knew the Krogan could be sculptors? And the green... Tuchanka had a lot of potential to be a beautiful world, given the chance.

They hopped in the trucks and headed to the shroud facility. Shepard loved Eve's idea. It was just crazy enough to work.

"Lets make sure we all get out of here alive. We're going to have one hell of a story to tell." She grinned. "Be careful, Mordin. I have a bad feeling."

"Going head to head with a reaper to summon a giant thresher maw. A bad feeling seems appropriate." Mordin shook his head.

"Surprisingly that's not what's giving me a bad feeling…Call it woman's intuition, just be careful."

"Yes yes." He said dismissively.

"Let's do it, Wrex." She grinned, shaking his hand.

They fought more hordes of reaper forces before making it to a bridge. How in the hell were they supposed to distract that? She stared up at it briefly, then scrambled back as the reaper shot its main cannon directly at her. The bridge crumbled beneath them, sending them all tumbling. She helped Garrus remove a large chunk of rock from his chest, he nodded that he was fine.

"You alright?" She asked James, who was dusting himself off.

"Yeah…Mostly." He stood. "Did we just get shot by a reaper?"

"Consider that practice." She laughed as they pushed forward, rolling cover to cover as the reaper blasted at them. Like a godsend, Artimec wing returned, unloading into the reaper and giving it more complicated targets to focus on.

"I knew they wouldn't give up." Garrus said, pride in his people obvious.

"Alright people, lets move it!" She shouted as they pressed forward.

Brutes began to rain from the sky, charging them as the reaper stomped around to better aim at Artimec wing.

"Shit!" She shouted as she barely managed to side step the reapers massive and very heavy foot. It cracked the ground below, the shockwave pushing her back.

"This is crazy." Garrus exclaimed, not far behind her, trying his damnest to take out the brutes as they charged. She took a second to evaluate the situation. Artimec was fighting their damndest but they werent even putting a dent in the Reaper, just annoying it. The volume of brutes was only getting thicker, and they were running out of ammo. _Time to be reckless_ , she cracked her knuckles.

"Screw it." Shepard charged past the brutes raining from the sky. She rolled as one tried to grab her and flipped the switch to activate the hammer. She turned and one was on her, but not for long. It erupted into flames and she covered her face, when she looked up, James and Garrus were both reloading, keeping them off of her.

She dove into cover as a stray blast from the reaper came her way.

"Get that other hammer now, Shepard!" Wrex came over her comm..

"There's a reaper in my way, Wrex!" She shouted back, unsure if he could even hear her over the cacophony of her surroundings.

"I know, you get all the fun." She rolled her eyes. She ducked and wove between the reapers feet, finally making it to the other side and the second hammer.

It slammed down with monumental force.

"Get back to the truck! I'll take care of the cure!" James was injured, Garrus had to help him back. She was sure it was the only reason he agreed to leave her behind.

A death match between titans raged over her head. She couldn't help but instinctively find cover as they crashed down beside her, destroying a bridge. Her heart was slamming in her chest, adrenaline flooding her veins, an insane grin stuck to her face. She leaped across, scrambling as quickly as she could. She heard an ear shattering impact and turned to watch as Kalros slammed into to the back of the reaper, dragging him into the earth. She wasn't sure if Reapers could feel fear, but if they could, she knew that reaper was feeling it.

She rushed to Mordin as quickly as she could. She was glad they saved the data, it had saved Eve's life.

"What?" She shouted, "You're going up there? Mordin, No!"

"Shepard please, need to do this. My project. My cure. My responsibility." He took a deep breath. "Would have liked to run tests on seashells."

"Mordin…please." She clenched her fists, she knew he had to, for himself and for the Krogan. She sucked in a breath and held her head high, "Thank you, for everything."

"Thank you, Shepard." He smiled, "Do not regret. Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong."

She made it back to the trucks and watched the explosion from a distance, catching a few flurries of the cure in her palm as Mordin's spirit rained down, saving the entire race he'd spent his brief life working on. She smiled up as the cure dispersed.

"Now we'll fight for our children, not against them. It's a pity Mordin had to die." Eves tone was solemn as they reconvened a ways back from the shroud, away from the fighting. The calm was eerie.

"He wouldn't have had it any other way… And I'm sure that wherever he is, he's putting in a good word for us." Her voice was low and she managed to keep a small smile on her face for him.

"We'll name one of the kids after him…maybe a girl." Wrex teased.

She said her goodbyes, wished Urdnot Bakara luck. She smiled as she loaded on the shuttle. Even with the loss of Mordin, it was a win. She was silent the whole ride back, and trudged to the war room without a second thought, her armor still dusty from the scuffle on Tuchanka. She barely heard the primarch as he briefed her on the latest state of Tuchanka, barely acknowledged when he offered his help for earth. She nodded as he mentioned Garrus would be coordinating the allocated fleets.

Garrus laid a hand on her back after the primarch left. "You must be exhausted."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." She grumbled. He was right, she was exhausted, but Mordin's smile haunted her.

"Shepard…" He chided. "If it helps, I know where you sleep. I promise to wake you if anything happens."

She kicked the console absently, tapping the toe of her filthy boot against it. She huffed out a sigh and nodded.

"Fine." She caved halfheartedly.

He nodded and she turned and set off towards the security checkpoint. He turned to work on the fleets but hesitated, he didn't believe that she was actually going to go to sleep.

He went to the battery to change before heading up to her cabin. When he arrived, he almost had to laugh at the accuracy of his suspicions. She'd donned her notorious shorts and tank, but was sitting at her desk rifling over data pads, she hadn't even heard him enter. He rolled his eyes and walked over to her, taking the one from her hand before lifting her out of the chair, ignoring her protests.

"No wait! I was almost finished with that!" She reached over his shoulder, just barely missing it as she was lifted and carried away, "I just need like…twenty more minutes."

"It'll be there when you wake up." He ignored her struggles and pushed her onto the bed, pulling the sheets up over her head. She kept trying to push them off, trying to sit up, complaining that she only had a few more things she _had_ to finish. "Don't make me pin you down, Shepard."

"Promises promises." She narrowed her eyes at him, challenging. When she saw that he wouldn't back down, she let out a sigh. "Fine."

He brushed her hair out of her eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. "I'll be right here."

"You have work to do, Garrus." She ran a hand down his arm. "I'll be fine…"

"Well, there goes the romance." He shook his head and sat up, "Who knew it could fall out of a relationship so quickly?" He raised a browplate at her.

She laughed, "Sorry. I just meant you have more important things to do than coddle me."

He brushed his lips against her forehead, "No, I really don't."

"Well aren't you Mr. Suave." She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him down to the bed.

He rolled to the side and she curled up against him as he stared up out of the window.

"Just give me a few minutes, just like this." She said softly, falling asleep only moments after the words passed her lips. He smiled and sat very still. He closed his eyes and decided he may as well catch his own nap in the process.

Not even fifteen minutes had passed before she shot up out of bed, eyes wide and heart beating erratically. He didn't get the chance to ask what was wrong before her omni-tool pinged. The Salarian councilor needed to speak with her. Urgently. Garrus glowered up at her when she stood, throwing on her hoodie and jeans over her tank top and shorts.

"Sorry Garrus, go ahead and sleep for the both of us." She smiled and tossed her hair up into a loose pony tail before hopping in the elevator.

He pushed off the bed and stood to follow. They were a few hours out from the Citadel and if he had to follow that damn woman around until she went back to sleep he would. He set to work organizing the fleets in the war room while he waited, keeping an ear for an end of the conversation. He finished up with the fleets, but she was still talking, apparently Anderson was available and she was joyfully catching up. He hatched an idea. He would do something nice for her, take her out when they got to the Citadel. Just them, no war, no meetings, no urgent calls… a much needed chance to catch her breath.

As soon as she finished the call, Garrus stepped into the room. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

"Well?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Well what?" She crossed her arms in return, mimicking his pose as she shifted back against the console.

Pushing off the door, he crossed the room. He braced his arms on either side of her, his mouth hovered right beside her ear.

"Go to bed." He murmured, his breath soft against her ear.

"Only if you promise to join me." Her tone was suggestive.

He laughed, "Shepard, you need sleep."

"I need multiple things." She kissed his neck. Spirits did he want to oblige. He pushed off from the console, pushing on her back.

"Go to bed, Shepard."

"Party pooper." She rolled her eyes as he pushed her into the elevator. He planted a kiss on her forehead before, pushing the button to her floor, stepping out before the doors closed. If he went up there with her, neither of them were going to get any sleep and after all that time apart, they would need sleep even more after. He ground his teeth and went to take a cold shower while he tried to repress all the wonderful things he wanted to do to her.


	11. Chapter 10

Garrus' timeline:

The fish tank bubbled softly, his eyes fluttered open. When did he get here?

He sat up and looked around. He didn't remember coming up to her cabin. He thought back, the last thing he remembered was coming to feed her hamster. The clock read 04:30, that was six hours ago. That had been the best sleep he'd had since she…left. His legs were tangled in the sheets, a pillow cradled in his arms. He cleared his throat and set the pillow aside, un-weaving his legs before standing.

The room and sheets still smelled like her, it soothed his subconscious but only made him miss her more. He let out a sigh and made the bed. Turning, he grabbed the data pad he'd brought up with him and started to leave. He paused with his hand in the doorway, glancing back over his shoulder at the room.

Ghosts of memories floated around the room. He could almost see her walking around, staring at her fish, talking to her hamster, sleeping in her bed. He ran his fingers down the frame before stepping into the elevator, pushing to head down to the CIC. He needed to know how close they were to earth. He needed an end to the waiting.

Stepping out, EDI's body greeted him.

"Good Morning, Garrus." She nodded, "You look well rested."

"Thanks. ETA?" He rubbed his neck.

"Our FTL drive is 80% complete, at our current pace, it will be approximately two months and four days until we reach the Sol system."

"That long?" He sighed, could he make it? Did he have a choice?

They'd been flying for five months. All other repairs to the ship had been made, they had plenty of supplies thanks to Wrex, now they just needed the FTL drive to be repaired. And the waiting was the hardest.

"When the FTL drive is repaired, we will be able to decrease that time significantly." She seemed to sense his discomfort, but knew well enough not to press.

"Get it done, EDI." He nodded.


	12. Chapter 11

Shepard's timeline:

"So, how does it feel to know the Krogan will be singing songs about you until the end of time?" Garrus grinned. Shepard had been in her room for roughly three hours and every time he had gone to check, she'd been passed out snoring on her bed. She looked much healthier now.

She laughed, "It's definitely interesting…but it's nice to see something go right for a change; even if we did lose Mordin."

"Yeah, this one felt good." He nodded, "Maybe we should hire a food taster for Wrex?"

"I don't think Wrex would let anyone eat his food." She grinned, "He's a bit of a chow hound."

"I'm just glad its Wrex running the show. Imagine if things would have gone south back on Virmire? And that brother of his, Wreav took over? It would be a bloodbath."

"No way, I couldn't have killed him." She shook her head, "Even back then."

"I have to say, if it wasn't my own world that needed the help…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I might've taken that Salarian deal. Be honest, did you consider it?"

"Not even for an instant."

He chuckled, "And this is how we are going to save the galaxy without destroying a couple of races along the way. I admire you, Shepard." He saw her blush. He rubbed the back of his neck, it was ridiculous that after everything they'd been through, he still felt awkward asking he on a date. "How about after your meeting at the Citadel, we go get some R&R?"

"Sure, I'd love that." She grinned. He lifted a hand and pushed it into her hair.

"And I love that I still make you blush." He turned and headed back into the cockpit, leaving her blushing even harder in the hall.

 _Charismatic bastard…_ She thought before heading back to the CIC.

* * *

But they didn't get the chance.

The citadel was under attack, Cerberus had taken over C-Sec and was after the counsel. They had to move quick. The shuttle flew at maximum velocity through the presidium, landing only a few minutes later at C-Sec HQ.

"Remind me to never let Bailey live this down." She muttered before hopping out of the shuttle and diving to cover. "And to buy a mech." She sighed as an Atlas mech began its approach.

Once the Cerberus troops were dealt with, they ran up the stairs to help Bailey.

"Shepard! I saw…I saw those Cerberus troops and I thought you were done for." He groaned.

"Bailey, it's alright, we got you." She applied the medigel and looked him over for other injuries. Normally she would've quipped back but he was seriously hurt.

He waved off their aid and stood, unlocking the door to the control room. His fingers flew over the keys, trying to retake control. He came across a message from councilor Valern, who was supposed to be meeting the executor at this very moment.

"Hang on there's a message here: 'Be on guard – the likelihood of betrayal from within is high…' Not a lot else…"

Garrus and Shepard shared a look. "Udina." She said matter of factly.

"That's insane. Does he even have that kind of pull?" Garrus asked, shaking his head.

"I'll bet the councilor would know." Bailey added.

"Well, where am I headed?" She sighed.

With omni-tools linked, they fought their way through the burning ruins of C-Sec HQ. Garrus called out the names of a few friends, turning over bodies as they passed.

"Do you want to give away our position?" James whispered, shushing him.

"If the gunfire hasn't, I sure wont." He rolled his eyes.

Everyone in the executors office was dead. Just as she was informing Bailey, a chair moved. Now, normally it wouldn't be noticed but there was no one there to move it. She saw the shimmer of a cloak as it fell, the councilor standing slowly, head on a swivel.

"Ah. There he is."

No sooner did she finish the sentence did a man wearing black spandex fall from the ceiling, wielding a nasty looking sword and staring down the counselor. She leaped out of the window, landing hard on a roll. She trained her sights on the assassin.

"I'd take it easy there pal." He glanced over his shoulder as Garrus and James joined her. "Three on one, I'd quit while I was ahead."

"No you wouldn't." Garrus muttered in her earpiece.

"Now this is fun." The assassin grinned widely, charging up his attack until a gun activated by his head.

She could see why Thane had been so effective of an assassin. He'd snuck up on this stealthy bastard, and no one in her crew even noticed his presence until it was too late. The assassin followed their gaze and immediately swung to disarm Thane. They moved impossibly fast. She pushed the counselor behind her, keeping him safely between the three of them.

She tried to train her sights on the assassin, but Thane kept moving into her sights. She cursed under her breath as the assassin charged.

Thane deflected the assassins' sword with his pistol. Shepard was in awe. She'd seen him fight, but never like this. It was Dantius Towers times two; until the sword pierced him. She felt the blow like a punch in the chest.

"Thane!" She shouted, charging forward, bullets spraying towards the assassin to drive him off. She skidded to a halt beside him, he motioned for her to go after him. She huffed out a breath and tore herself away, landing a few bullets against the assassin's barrier before he leapt onto a skycar and got away.

"Damnit." She cursed and turned to see Thane leaning against the wall, she rushed to his side, nearly depleting her supply of medigel before he stopped her. "Easy, Thane. We'll get you to a hospital."

"No." He said firmly, clasping her hand before pushing her away. "Go after him. I have time."

Garrus grabbed her by the arm and hauled her to her feet, James started the skycar. She shook off his hand and hopped into the car, gunning it so hard they lurched back in their seats.

"Shepard."

"I know, Garrus." Her eyes stared forward, nearly boring a hole through the windshield. "I just hate leaving him alone like that."

He didn't have time to reply. The assassin landed on the hood of the skycar, grinning at them. Her growl was Audible.

"Take the wheel." James didn't have time to ask what she was doing before she popped the side door open and unloaded her clip at the assassin, barely putting a dent in the shields. He rammed his sword into the engine before casually stepping into a waiting skycar.

"Shepard! Get in here!" Garrus shouted, grabbing her by the belt and pulling her back into the car before they went crashing into a shopping center.

She kicked hard on the door, finally managing to pop it open on the third kick. She tumbled out and wiped a smudge of blood from her forehead where it hit the dash. Garrus put a hand on her shoulder and she nodded and stood, not looking at him.

She couldn't let him see the grief that was consuming her. First Mordin, now Thane? She knew he could've survived it, but would his Keprals syndrome complicate things? It was hard enough for him to breathe _with_ all of his blood working full time. Even then he was dizzy at times. And she'd left him there to bleed to death. She pushed the thought away. She needed to focus. They cleared the main floor and were about to step onto the elevator when someone called out to her.

"Arri!"

She blinked, no one really called her by her first name. She turned and saw Nathan limping out from behind a car.

"…Nathan?" She looked over to Garrus and James, then back to him. "What the hell are you doing here? You live way the hell out in Zakera. Of all days to come to the presidium…" She tossed a hand in the air in exasperation.

Garrus touched her shoulder, reminding her they had an assassin to catch, and _really_ needed to get moving.

"I came to try and find you…I wanted to…" He gripped his bleeding arm as she went to step away. "Will you forgive me?"

"What?" She blinked at him, she didn't have time for this…

"Just give me a chance!" He pleaded.

She glowered, her temper was already short and he was not helping. "It's not my forgiveness you need to ask for."

"Shepard." Garrus growled. "We don't have time for this."

She turned and he saw the raw turmoil in her eyes. Anguish, frustration, bitterness… but understanding; he clenched his teeth.

"Look, Nathan, we're kind of in the middle of saving the council, again." She turned to leave.

"Please!" He shouted after her.

Even someone as dense as James picked up on roughly what was going on, roughly. The only thing he could really tell was that this random guy just showed up and raised up hell of a lot of tension between Shepard and Garrus. "Who is this pendejo?"

Shepard blinked, then shook her head. "Someone from Mindoir." She answered James then turned to face Nathan, "I can't deal with you right now, I have a council to save. You wasted your chance." She turned on her heel and stepped onto the roof of the elevator James had managed to pry open. Garrus and James jumped on right behind.

She hated elevators. She hated elevators so much. Her experiences on Project Overlord didn't help when David jostled them up and down. She nearly blew chunks as the elevator rocketed up, she settled for falling to one knee.

"Bad news." Bailey chirped.

"Is there any other kind?" She sighed, gripping the edge of the power conduits housing to pull herself back up.

They dealt with the phantoms and assassins elevator then, after much emotional prepping on her part, jumped onto the Councils elevator. She barely dodged the bullets fired through the ceiling. They jumped down through the roof as soon as it stopped.

"I _really_ hate elevators." She grumbled and wiped the sweat from her brow, a tense breath escaping gritted teeth.

Garrus just laughed at her as James shorted the elevator door. She trained her sights on Udina as he hid behind Kaiden.

"Shepard?" The question was all over his face.

"She's with Cerberus! She'll kill us all." Udina shouted and Kaiden raised his gun, pointing it at her.

"Shepard, what the hell is going on?"

"C'mon, Kaiden you know me better than that." She lowered her gun, hoping it would ease him.

"I knew the old you. Before Cerberus. Right now I'm not sure who…"

She signaled her crew to lower their weapons and took a step forward.

"We don't have time to negotiate. You've been fooled, all of you." She pointed her hand at Udina, "He is the one behind this attack, Valern confirmed it."

Udina scoffed, stepping forward confidently, "Please, you have no proof. You never do. Spectre, open the elevator."

Kaiden went to obey, "There are Cerberus soldiers in the shaft behind us, open it now and they will kill you all." She sneered. Kaiden seemed unsure. She hated putting him in the middle like this, but he had to listen. Much to her surprise the Asari counselor came to her aid, offering a voice of support. As soon as Udina went to the terminal, Shepard and her crew trained their guns on him.

Kaiden raised his at them. They shared a silent moment, a powerful look and he lowered his gun.

"I'm going to regret this." He murmured, turning and pointing his gun at Udina.

"No, you're not." Shepard kept her weapon up and stepped beside him.

To be fair, they warned Udina; step away or else. He just wouldn't listen. She couldn't deny how good it felt to pull the trigger when he pointed a gun at the Asari counselor. She stepped forward, Kaiden stood there thunderstruck.

"Get the counselors back and cover that door." She barked, snapping him out of it as she approached the counsel.

The door to the elevators flew open and they raised their weapons, she sighed when Bailey stepped out.

"Sorry, counselor I'll say it plain. Shepard just saved the lot of you."

"Then that's twice I owe you my life commander." The Turian counselor stepped forward and shook her hand. "I owe you both a personal debt and one on behalf of Palaven."

Shepard gripped his hand in return. "You don't owe me anything, Counselor. We all have to stick together."

"Never the less, we are still immensely grateful for your intervention."The Asari counselor offered her thanks as well. Kaiden sat quiet on the sidelines. She looked over and saw the crestfallen look as he hung his head, he thought he'd completely botched it. And while she wasn't a fan of how he'd handled the situation with Udina, she was proud of how he'd kept all the counselors in one piece until then. She gestured to him.

"It's Spectre Alenko you should be thanking for that." His head shot up, "He got you all out of harm's way from the start."

"Yes, that is true, but he didn't notice Udina was a traitor." The Turian counselor noted.

"Neither did you." She raised an eyebrow.

"I…see your point commander." He conceded and both the Asari and Turian counselors went to offer their gratitude.

Shepard turned and grudgingly stepped back into the elevator. She punched in the dial and followed Bailey to his office. Thane would be out of surgery soon and she had a few things to take care of before that. The assassin had vanished, literally and figuratively. She rubbed her neck.

"Thanks, Bailey." She headed straight for the hospital. Garrus and James headed down to the emergency housing deck to help with the refugees and victims in this latest catastrophe.

"That assassin should be embarrassed. A terminally ill drell managed to keep him from reaching his target." Thane gasped out between coughs, struggling to breathe.

"I'll pass the word along." She said gently as she grasped his hand. _Right after I stab him in the throat._

"There is something I must do… I must—" He stopped into a coughing fit before starting a prayer, Kolyat helped him finish it.

She joined him in a final prayer.

"Kalahira," he began. "This ones heart is pure. But beset by wickedness and contention."

"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, and the hungry never starve." She continued the beautiful prayer. "Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me."

Thane turned and closed his eyes, his chest fell for the last time, a gentle smile on his lips.

"Kolyat…why did the last verse say 'she'?" her voice was barely a whisper.

"His wish, commander, was for you."

"Thank you, for everything." She gripped Thane's hand, Kolyat placed a hand on her shoulder. "Goodbye Thane… you won't be alone long."


	13. Chapter 12

Shepard's Timeline:

She checked her omni tools map for the next mission location, she knew it was somewhere around here... She looked over to her side and saw Garrus speaking with a few other Turians. She couldn't help but stare. He was a natural leader. She couldn't help but wonder what his life would have been like if she'd never been involved. She remembered the dossier she'd read on the Shadow Broker base: "Unlikely to reach full leadership potential under Commander Shepard." She watched him sadly. He'd done amazing on his own. He even led his own task force, and from her updates, they were kicking ass. He dismissed himself from the man he'd been speaking with and turned to look at her, opening the comm. link she kept with her crew at all times.

"Do you have any idea how damn distracting it is when you stare at me like that?" He grumbled low enough for her to hear in her earpiece.

"I apologize for nothing." She mumbled back before turning around towards the next mission point. She needed to stay focused. She wove her way to the makeshift hospital, listened to the Batarian curse her name, blame her for everything bad that had happened to him and his people. She stared down at him as he spoke. She'd heard everything this man had done, the bombs he'd planted, the people he'd killed, the way he helped Cerberus walk in the front door to the Citadel... the bile rose in the back of her throat as he spoke.

"Then unplug this machine. Let me join my family." The Batarian growled.

She felt the hatred bubble. If it wasn't for him, Cerberus wouldn't have gotten in. If it wasn't for him, the assassin would never have faced Thane. If it wasn't for him, Thane would still be alive and so would hundreds of other civilians. She bared her teeth and turned on her heel.

"Nurse, I think he may be in pain."

"Ah yes, thank you. I'll turn up his sedation so he doesn't cough himself to death."

"NO!" He cried on a cough before falling back into a drug induced sleep. She turned on her heel and walked out the door towards the last terminal for the corrupt codes, trying hard to calm herself.

She felt a gun push into her back and she slowly raised her hands.

* * *

Garrus needed to take a walk. Another wave of soldiers from Palaven had arrived, with way too many casualties. He stretched out his arms and walked out from between the storage crates and saw Shepard with a gun at her back. That Batarian looked very familiar.

"Commander Shepard, Captain Balak. I've been waiting for this… everything that's happened to my people is your fault." He growled. Garrus immediately pulled out his rifle, one move and the Batarian was dead. He moved to get a clear shot. He saw James stand from his poker table, seeing Garrus' tense state and following his line of sight to Shepard, Garrus waved him down. He sat, but kept his eyes locked on the situation.

"Batarians made enemies throughout the galaxy. And now you're paying the price for it." She looked over her shoulder at him.

"We were a proud race! A beautiful race! Have you seen what the reapers have done to us?" He shouted.

"Better than what I would have, I'm sure." She growled and turned to face him. "Or don't you remember me?" Her voice was sweet, but the look in her eyes was lethal. Balak visibly tensed. "Oh? So you do."

"I am the highest ranking official left in the Hegemony." He continued angrily, "I am the only hope for my people and _I can't save them_!" His tone lowered, his desperation plain, "But I can end you."

Garrus saw the change in her eyes. Empathy. It was the same moment he'd had with Sidonis. She lowered her hands and crossed her arms.

"You aren't going to pull that trigger." She gave him a sinister smirk, "Because you know what I'm doing out there, you know that _I am all you have left_."

"I could kill you! I could…do it right now!" He hesitated, waving the gun. She smiled at him and stared down his gun, waiting for him to make a move. Garrus had his head in his sights, but the Batarian was hesitating. He knew Shepard saw him, he just needed the signal and the Batarian would fall. But it never came.

"Tell me, how does it feel Balak? To know the entire hope for your people rests on my shoulders?" She laughed darkly as he dropped the gun. He glared at her and turned away, waving a hand dismissively.

"Our…our ships are yours." He walked away, his head hung low.

Garrus rushed to her side. "Shepard, are you alright?"

"Yeah. Fine." She quipped sharply, turning to finish deactivating the code. A detective ran up beside and asked if she was alright as well.

"Was that…do you want me to arrest him?" The woman asked. Shepard ground her teeth.

"I want you to put a bullet in his head…but we're all making sacrifices today." She rubbed her neck, "Let him go, Spectre authority."

"Understood, Commander, and thank you." The woman dismissed herself.

"Shepard," Garrus began.

"Please, don't." She let out a breath. She looked up and saw hurt on his face, she put her hand lightly on his arm. "I'm alright. I've let him go before, remember? Besides," she laughed gently, bitterly, "what kind of example would that set after what happened with Sidonis?"

What he remembered was the look of hatred in her eyes, pure and seething as she stared down the batarian's gun. He was certain that if Balak had pulled the trigger, she wouldn't have gone down. She would've broken his neck first. He didn't think he'd ever seen that look on her face before. He never wanted to see it again.

"I guess you're right." He let out a sigh and looked after Balak as he stormed through the security gate and off to Spirits knows where, unaware of the immense sacrifice she had made that allowed him to still draw breath. He felt a light touch on his cheek.

"I'm going to meet up with Cortez, ok? He's saying goodbye to his husband and…I promised I'd be there." He watched her walk away.

He'd had this whole thing planned… he let out a sigh, it was going to have to wait. A Turian approached him, needed him to organize something for the refugees. Reluctantly, he took his eyes off of her slumped figure and went back to work.

Shortly after she'd left, he was absorbed in a datapad. It never took him long to get sucked in when so much needed done. Liara had updated him that Shepard was alright and sitting beside her for a drink on the Presidium Commons so at least he wasn't worried about her. A light tap came at his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. He turned and his eyes met with lilac ones briefly, they flicked away upon meeting his gaze.

Nathan's face was a sneer. Garrus could tell how uncomfortable he was, surrounded by Turians. He couldn't help but love it, just a bit. He crossed his arms.

"Need something?" He purred, Nathan flinched and clenched his fists; he wouldn't meet his eyes.

"I need to talk to you…"

* * *

Garrus went up to speak with her, his meeting with Nathan still fresh in his mind. How was he going to present it to her? Hell, he wasn't even sure why yet. He walked into her never locked door and paused in the entry. She was nowhere to be seen, but he knew she was up here. He heard the clatter of water on tiles, signaling she was in the shower. He walked over to her desk and set down the small glass of tea he'd brought up and froze. He listened very carefully, and heard soft sobbing. His heart leapt to his throat, he'd never heard her cry before. It wasn't a sound he enjoyed, nor one he ever wanted to hear again.

"Shepard?" He pressed softly from outside the door. He heard her breath hitch and calm before she spoke.

"Please…not now Garrus…" Her voice was ragged and meek, pleading for solitude.

It killed him. She was in there crying, and she wanted to be alone. He wanted nothing more than to run in there and wrap his arms around her. To hold her until everything was alright. He thought about waiting in the living room, but the soft sobbing had resumed, he couldn't stand the sound.

"Let me know if you need me." He said softly before walking out of the room.

It was weak. Stupid, and weak. Once she started, she wouldn't be able to stop. She knew that… she hated it. That didn't make it any easier. The moment she'd returned to the Normandy she'd headed up to the showers. Just being near Balak… and letting him live… she felt disgusting. And as soon as she'd finished vomiting what little she had in her stomach, she'd jumped into the shower. The water was scalding hot, but she'd barely felt it as she scrubbed herself. Before she knew it, the tears had erupted forth unbidden. She tried to stop them, scolding herself, but she only cried harder. She collapsed to the ground and pressed her face against the cold tile of her shower and let the water wash her tears down the drain.

The man who'd killed her parents, burned her home and set her into this life walked right up to her, even gave her a reason to kill him… and she understood him. She pitied him. She'd let him live. Bile rose in her throat again.

"Mom… dad… everyone… I'm so sorry…" She sobbed, her voice breaking, "I couldn't kill him. I..." She let out a sharp laugh, "I didn't avenge you like I'd promised…"

She curled her arms around herself, squeezing tightly, "I'm so sorry…" the sobs came harder, racking her body as she gasped to try and regain her composure. But despite her best efforts, everything that had gone so wrong since Earth was hit came crashing down on her. Mordin, Thane… how many more friends was this war going to take from her? And she'd pushed Garrus away. She shuddered, she felt so alone.

She didn't know how long she'd been crying. They were still docked at the Citadel, half the crew unloaded and taking care of various business. But she was wasting precious fresh water. And no matter how wonderful the hot water felt on her weary shoulders, she reached up from her now crouched position on the floor and turned it off.

It was time to get moving. She forced herself to stand, her legs weak from how she'd been sitting. The crying had stopped, her eyes were raw, but her heart felt a bit lighter. She didn't deny it was much needed, she just hated that it was needed at all. She toweled off and donned her robe, stepping out into the cool air of her room.

She saw the cold tea on her desk and ran her finger along the edge. An urge hit her, so sudden and so powerful it nearly sent her reeling. She needed him. She needed him here now to hold her and somehow tell her everything was going to be alright, even if it was all a lie. She pressed the button to call him, but he didn't answer. She furrowed her brow and donned her pajamas, bundling herself back up in her robe. She was exhausted. She managed to bury herself under the sheets robe and all just as the door flew open.

He didn't say a word. He saw her eyes, raw and red, her subdued gaze. He walked over, crawled under the sheets with her, and pulled her tightly against him, tucking her head under his neck. The gesture was so gentle, so intimate, she nearly started crying again. Probably would have if she had anything left to give.

"Sorry." She said softly. She hated putting him through this drama, he had enough on his plate.

"Shut up." He scoffed quietly. "Even The Great Commander Shepard is allowed to cry."

She laughed softly, "Yeah…" She buried her face into his neck and smiled gently. "Thanks…"

Her voice was soft, barely a whisper before it faded. He felt the steady rise and fall of her breath. She'd fallen asleep. He smiled softly, he would do everything in his power and beyond to keep her from ever making that dreadful sound again. The compulsion was desperate.

And that was when it hit him. He was in love with her. He was head over heels, madly, irrevocably in love with this soft, warm, incredible person sleeping soundly against his chest. The realization nearly knocked the wind out of him. And he loved every second of it.


	14. Chapter 13

Shepard cont'd:

"…What?" She narrowed her eyes at him over her tea cup.

"I think you should give Nathan a second chance." Garrus repeated. He had to admit it sounded crazy, but the man's apology had been desperate. And, though he only did it to get the man to leave, he'd promised he'd mention it.

She leaned across the mess table and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, "Are you feeling ok?"

He brushed her hand away, "He apologized and really seems to want to make up with you. I figured we could find something for him to do to contribute to the war. Maybe we could use him?"

She blinked and arched an eyebrow at him. "You want me to invite him onto the Normandy? A ship full of aliens?"

Garrus nodded, "I'll keep an eye on him, no worries."

She pushed a hand through her hair. "Ok look, it's creepy that you're asking for multiple reasons but I'm just going to tell you the main one… Nathan's my ex."

"You…dated that guy?" He tried not to be upset. That was years ago, he had no right to be jealous, but he was.

"Well I didn't know he was a raging xenophobe until after the attack. If I'd known he was _that_ close minded before it never would've happened." She leaned back in her chair, sipping on her tea and not meeting his eyes. "I dumped him after the attack, when I left with Anderson. I couldn't stay behind with all that… I left them all…" She shook her head, "Garrus I appreciate it but its old news, just…let it go."

"Not if there's a chance for you to have a piece of your past again." He pushed. Of all the people in the world who deserved some piece of mind, she deserved it most.

"Really?" She quirked an eyebrow at him, "Even if that piece is a xenophobic ex-boyfriend that hates your guts and would likely try and pry us apart?"

"I'm not encouraging the idea for me." He placed his hand over hers, "I think you should at least give it a chance, meet him for coffee or something... Just think about it."

He kissed her forehead and stood to leave. He made his way to the console and paused. His thoughts flickered to her life back on Mindoir, what might have happened to her if the Batarians never attacked? He thought back to how serene her voice had been as she patted down that strange creature with the black scales. The sun shining in her hair, accenting the auburn, her smile soft and warm, her eyes gentle and unhardened by the brutality of war. Her heart un-scarred. Would she have stayed with him? Married him? Had his kids? Was that something she would have wanted?

No more than an hour had passed with him alone in his thoughts before she joined him in the battery. She fidgeted with a drawstring on her hoodie and leaned against the wall.

"I've thought about what you said." She rubbed the back of her neck, "And I'm willing to give him a chance, but not now."

He turned to face her, leaning back against his station. It was so cute when she fumbled like this. She was always so collected, composed, in control. But right now she looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"After… After the war. I know I should talk to him sooner, I know there are all of these things I should do…but this is personal. No one's lives will be spared, no nations will be saved…it's only for me, purely selfish." She held up a hand before he could interrupt, "And while I agree it should be done if for nothing but the sake of closure…I'll do it after the war, when I know there could be no ramifications to my distraction."

Garrus pushed off his console and hugged her tightly. "Whenever you do, I'll be here."

* * *

With everyone loaded back up onto the Normandy, Kaiden included, they set off to go steal some scientists from the Illusive man. She had to admit, it was good to see Jacob again. He may be wearing a Cerberus uniform, but he was Alliance to the core. They managed to save everyone, and find a formula for Turian poison. She forwarded the document to the doctor she'd overheard at Huerta Memorial.

She pulled up her email. They'd cured the Genophage, saved the citadel from Cerberus and Udina, and now the Quarians wanted to take their home world back. Why was everyone going bat-shit now? Couldn't they have just waited a bit longer? Or maybe waited until _after_ monstrous sentient starships were done trying to wipe them out? She let out a sigh. At least she would get to see Tali.

The meeting went well, though she could see the vast disagreement between the admirals. Tali handled them all with grace. She'd changed considerably from that daring little girl she'd rescued in a back alley. She called Tali up to talk in her cabin for a while before the girl had to dismiss herself with 'admiral business'. She lay down and closed her eyes, doubtful for sleep, but it took her quickly. A glorious, wonderful, dreamless sleep.

She woke up to Garrus brushing the hair from her eyes. The way he looked at her, she couldn't help but blush and smile up at him.

"Hey." Her voice was breathless. She stretched out as far as she could, something popped in her back.

"Hey. I hate to wake you, but we need to go take out a dreadnaught." She shot up out of bed and he grinned at her reaction. She seemed well rested, full of energy; it was something he hadn't seen in too long. She pulled on her armor immediately and twisted her hair into a complicated bun.

"Are you kidding?" She grinned. "This is the kind of stuff I _want_ you to wake me up for."

* * *

"It's not an option, Xen, drop it." She stood tall and leaned forward with her shoulders squared, blocking Legion from the crazy Quarian. Xen backed off begrudgingly, Shepard was certain she was sneering beneath the helmet. It was good to have Legion back. She missed her favorite robot. They spoke briefly before she was called by Admiral Raan.

"Geth fighter squadrons are tearing our live ships to shreds. We need to incapacitate them somehow before there is no Quarian race left to return to the homeworld." Her voice was level, but the panic was clear.

Before Shepard could try and comfort her, Legion approached.

"This one may be able to assist." He mentioned the Geth hub located elsewhere on the planet, where he would go ahead first and clear a path, and then she would assist him in disabling reaper controlled forces. She agreed readily, and trusted Legion implicitly.

When she approached the machine she was surprised to say the least. Her mind was going to be downloaded into Legions own conscience. She patted a worried Garrus and Tali on the shoulder before stepping into a platform built for a Geth prime. She felt so small. Admittedly she was terrified, but she wasn't about to let them know that.

"Shepard…. Are you sure about this?" He stood just outside the opening, he could hear her heart racing despite her cool exterior.

"We don't know what you'll find inside…" Tali shadowed him.

"We don't have a choice. Besides, its kind of exciting, don't you think?" She grinned, bouncing on her heel.

"No." Tali said flatly, crossing her arms as the door slid shut.

She found it hard to sit still, but managed just enough to be downloaded. She was grateful for the gun, even if it was just an illusion. She cleared the reaper corruption quickly and reached a recording of her first moment with Legion.

"You saved this?" She smiled, "I'm flattered."

"It was the first time an organic willing cooperated with a synthetic. It was noteworthy." He stated simply.

She grinned at him, "That explains why you kept my armor as a patch."

When she exited the network, she was a bit dizzy, and a lot euphoric. She grinned widely at Garrus, easing some of the tension from his face until the Geth Primes circled them, following closely behind Legion. Tali and Garrus moved in close, watching her. She raised an eyebrow to Legion, he explained they wished to join. She smiled and welcomed them, much to Tali's surprise, before heading back up to the ship.

She cursed violently when she learned that the Quarian's had begun to land on Rannoch before it was clear. They'd lost so many units already. A quick, yet traumatic mission to rescue admiral Koris left them with one more task at hand.

It was time to disable the reaper code.

* * *

She almost had to laugh. Of course it was a reaper. What in the world would make her think it could be anything else? But she was done running. She told Legion to pull over as she went to face the monstrous Destroyer on foot.

Her adrenaline went into over drive. Everything pulsed around her and went in slow motion as she targeted the laser, staring the reaper down as it charged its attack. She barely made it in time, but the full firepower of both her Normandy and the entire Quarian fleet hit the reaper full in the face. She cheered from the sidelines, narrowly avoiding the shrapnel.

Its eye flickered, it began to speak as she approached. It challenged her, threatened her, told her there was no hope for someone as minuscule as her. She listened to the dying reapers words and sat at the edge of the cliff, staring down at him, grinning.

"You say all of these things, how small I am, how insignificant, how weak…" She gestured with her hands as she spoke, giving her a relaxed air, a cruel smile crept to her lips. "...yet you know my name. Harbinger has spoken of me in distain; that alone should tell you I am your worst nightmare. There are _millions_ more like me. You, despite all the wisdom of your age, are so incredibly _stupid._ We may represent chaos, but in that is life. It is chaotic, and it is beautiful."

"It is not a thing you can understand. Every organic form must be harvested, we are your salvation."

"You're saving us…by killing us? You're right, I don't understand because it doesn't make sense. But it doesn't matter, because you will fail."

"Finish your petty war." It rumbled, the light flickering away, "We will be waiting."

A chill ran up her spine and she stood and walked to meet her friends as they approached. Tali ran up excitedly, chattering and bouncing about their victory. But it was only one. And, by reaper standards, it was a small one. She cringed.

Han Gerrel piped up over the comm, he wanted to wipe out the entire Geth fleet. Legion pleaded with her, his people did not deserve death for defending themselves, and she couldn't agree more. The Quarian's started this war, the Geth simply defended themselves. She motioned for him to upload the code.

"Shepard you can't do this!" Tali implored.

"Tell them to stand down, Tali." Shepard pointed to the sky where a battle raged overhead, "The Geth are about to come up to full strength and the fleet will be slaughtered if they fight."

"But, Shepard..." She could feel the anguish from Tali, but she knew this could work. It had to. There could be peace. She turned away from Tali, hoping beyond hope that she was right. The concept of fully independent Geth, with their own free will, hyper-intelligent and grateful… it was too wonderful to stop. But she would not allow the fleet to fall in exchange. If they wouldn't listen... she would have to kill Legion and destroy their race.

Tali gave her the authority, and by some miracle she managed to get Han Gerrel to stand down. Legion paused, saying that direct personality dissemination was required. She protested, and to her surprise, he comforted her. She laid a hand on the piece of her old armor.

"Thank you, Legion, for everything."

"No, Shepard-Commander, thank you." He collapsed to the ground. She held back the tears, but barely.

She met Tali at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the beautiful Rannoch. She handed her a stone from the ground, so she could carry her home with her. She was so happy for her. Her homeland, the land the Quarian's had dreamed of for centuries was safe and at peace. As soon as the war was over, they had a homeworld to return to, to fight for.


	15. Chapter 13 - 5

Shepard's Timeline:

"I don't think he plans to be hostile." She stepped forward, staring down the Prothean where he sat on the floor. "Right?"

He stood slowly and glowered at her. "That depends on you."

He lurched forward and grabbed her by the shoulders, lurching her into an all too familiar sensation from the beacons. She tried not to vomit when he let her go, the sights and sounds of his peoples destruction, even the smells, had washed over her like she was actually there only moments ago. It quickly faded to a distant memory, but the sensation was violent, her head throbbed. He raged at their lack of action, stormed and shouted, but after her explanation, he merely sneered and called them primitive. Compared to the Prothean's, he was right. He turned away as they spoke of his people.

Liara stood eagerly as she asked all the questions she knew her little Asari was dying to ask. She smiled and told Javik to let her know if there was anything he needed to make himself more comfortable, aside from the destruction of the reapers, to let her know.

It was time to head back to the Citadel.

* * *

While she was crestfallen about the loss of Legion, she couldn't help but smile. Not only had the Geth and Quarians agreed to work together, but the Quarians were better off for it and wouldn't have to wear their suits within the next few years. And, on a completely personal note… She had a date.

Though she was nervous, she had no excuse but to accept. The Normandy needed to refuel, Tali had to report to the council about the resolution of the war, and Shepard only had to wait. She knew it sounded a bit childish, but the entire trip back she couldn't stop grinning. Garrus had reminded her once they were back on board of her promise to get some R&R next time they were at the Citadel. She had a few things she'd expected, the bar, maybe a gun range, she wasn't planning on him renting a sky car. It made it seem a bit more…real. Though she did find it odd how much he emphasized for her to wear clothing she was comfortable in, and not to dress up. So, she wore a pair of jeans, sneakers, and her beloved N7 hoodie.

When they arrived at the citadel, she met him at the transport hub. He joked with her a bit but he seemed nervous. Then again she was tired, and her perception was off, so she honestly could have imagined the whole thing. They loaded into the sky car and headed out through the presidium. She smelled food, and her stomach growled, but she couldn't see any in the car. She sighed.

"Problem?" He quirked a brow at her.

"Not so long as there is food in my near future." She smirked over at him. He nodded and she shifted content in her seat.

"Have you ever had one thing you've always wanted to do, but never got the chance to do it?" His voice was mischievous.

"I've woken up with a vigilante Turian next to me, so I'm pretty sure I can cross that off the list." She mumbled with a smirk.

"Still trying to make me blush?" He grinned.

"'Til it works. So, what's your one thing?"

"To go to the top of the Presidium. I used to be able to see it from my old desk at C-Sec, and I used to think to myself, 'I wanna go up there'." His voice was distant, day-dreamy, then it snapped back to normal, "But there were hundreds of regulations telling me why I couldn't."

"So…you got them changed?"

"No, now I just don't give a damn." She chuckled, and he smiled wider.

Her good spirits were barely touching his frazzled nerves. He had to tell her, but he felt like he was going to explode. He thought he was doing alright in keeping his cool on the outside, but on the inside, he was a complete mess. He landed the car gently and opened the door for her, revealing a picnic laid out at the top of the presidium. She blinked and looked over at him, surprised by the extremely romantic gesture.

"I thought you might be hungry." He ushered her to sit. She paused by the edge.

"The view is incredible." She said on a sigh, pushing down her nagging fear of heights. It wasn't too bad, just enough to make the little hairs on her neck stand up. And compared to the elevator ride to save the council, this was nothing. He followed her over to the blanket, his hands wringing.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope it would inspire a certain mood." He began before she sat.

"Something on your mind, Mr. Vakarian?" She smirked at him, turning to face him, her arms crossed as she sunk back on her hip. He hesitated, but approached.

"It seemed like you needed some time to…figure us out. Hell, I won't lie, I've been procrastinating doing this…just in case it ruined everything." She was so lost. He took her hand in his. "But I can't keep it to myself anymore. Not now that you are here, safe, within my reach. " He paused and ran his hands gently up her arms to cradle her face, "You have no idea how hard it has been without you, or how incredible it feels to wake up beside you."

Her heart jumped to her throat as her pulse quickened. "Garrus, The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere." She ran her hand down his arm, the other cradled his hand against her cheek.

"I felt the same way, the worst part about seeing it all going to hell was the thought that I might never get to see you again." She smiled and stepped forward as he spoke, her arms reached up to hang lazily around his neck, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist, pulling her against him.

"Well, here I am. Exactly where I want to be." She leaned back and smiled up at him, her cheeks flushed, "I love you, Garrus Vakarian." She couldn't stop herself, and she didn't want to. He seemed a bit taken a back, she felt the air rush out of him, and she had a brief moment of panic. Was this not where the conversation was going?

"Wow…" He smiled as he tried to catch his breath and grinned, instantly setting her nerves at ease, "The vids Joker gave me… they never got this far –"

She cut him off with a languid kiss. "Who needs a vid when you have me?"

"Point taken." He growled gently before dipping her low and kissing her firmly on the lips. He wanted to hold her there forever, and genuinely contemplated doing so before pulling her back to stand. He was grinning like an idiot. "But, before we eat, there's something you and I need to settle."

He snatched up a sniper rifle she'd bought him and taunted her ability. While she was certain she could've made the shot, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She took his gloating in stride, complaining that it was windy, and that she was too hungry to focus. He gripped her by the waist.

"There there…" He mocked, "I know there are other things you're good at." He laughed when she elbowed him in the stomach and led her over to the picnic.

There was a selection of meats, cheeses and fruits, both dextro and levo, and a bottle of amino-neutral whisky. She sat beside him and they both ate their fill, chatting about random things past, present and future. She was ecstatic, she wanted a million more days just like this…until her omni-tool lit up.

She read the message from the asari counselor and finished her glass of whisky in a single gulp, the food had been finished long before. She apologized that they had to head back, but he shook his head and assured her that it was no big deal, then dropped her off on Udina's old balcony.

She smiled at the Asari counselor as she parted, they needed to head to Thessia, and the sooner the better.

* * *

She was floating on clouds, her mind back on top of the presidium with Garrus and that stupid bottle. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face, until they were close to Thessia. The reapers were there in force and the Asari were falling.

They fought their way to the scientists, Asari sacrificing themselves to help them succeed all along the way. She hated it, so many dying around her, and she couldn't do anything about it. She tried to save them, but the had to get that data, or this was all for nothing. They finally made it to the temple.

The Goddess Athame looked a lot like Javik, but she kept her mouth shut. Liara had enough going on, she didn't need to question her people's faith all at once. She checked the corpses, who slit throats in this day and age? They managed to get the data and things were finally starting to go their way.

Then Cerberus had to show up. She almost had him, she'd almost gotten that slimy bastard Kai leng. But as the temple crumbled below her, her bodies instincts switched to survival, pulling herself as hard as she could, she wanted to bury her omni-blade into his gut. She managed to clamber up and with Liara's help she made it back to solid ground. As soon as her feet hit, she went after him, unloading her pistol after the gunship. She threw her now empty gun to the side and cursed voices called in her ear for backup, her shoulders squared off as her replies went unheard, as the Asari's screamed into her ear as reapers fell on them. Garrus touched her shoulder and she shrugged him off, making her way, head down and body rigid, back to the shuttle. They rode back silently, her hands balled in tight fists.

Telling the Asari councilor that her planet was lost…was terrible. She punched her fist into the console and barked orders for Joker to head to Sanctuary. They'd been getting some odd reports, and it was time to see what was up.

Garrus tried to comfort her, bless him he tried. But she waved him off and told him it was her fault, that if she'd gone sooner, if she hadn't been selfish, she could have saved Thessia. Nothing he said, nothing he did could console her. She went up to her loft and locked the door behind her for the remainder of the journey.

* * *

She wanted to retch. Sanctuary, the promise of salvation and peace, a place safe from the reapers, a place where families could go to be safe…it was all a sham. People turned into husks, banshees, brutes. _Cerberus_. She felt her blood boiling at the thought she worked with them, even if it was for a good cause. She wasn't surprised to see Miranda there, but she had been surprised to find her father had been behind all of this. They shut the place down and jumped back up to the Normandy.

Again Garrus tried to talk to her, again he tried to console her, again he failed. She screamed at him, ordered him, locked doors between them…and he had done absolutely nothing wrong. He'd done everything right. She loved him, more than anything. And with each moment that she threw away, she felt a same flood of regret. What if the reason Cerberus caught on to the Prothean VI was because she took the time to relax with Garrus? Because she let herself forget about the millions dying for a moment? She swore to herself that she never would again.


	16. Chapter 14

Garrus' Timeline: (its been a while lol)

Garrus paced in the battery. They were only a few weeks away from earth. Once the FTL drive was complete, they would make it there in a day. He could barely contain himself. But if she were alive...what if she didn't want to see him? He knew she'd be upset, but the last few days they were together…she wasn't exactly open to him. He wondered if he'd made a mistake, until she spoke with him before the final assault. There, with Wrex shouting violent things to motivate his troops in the background, he'd told her he wanted to marry her, to even adopt a Krogan with her. He knew she couldn't have children of her own, but who would be a better foster mother for a Krogan but a woman who acted like a Krogan herself? Grunt turned out alright.

He smiled at the idea. Of the last kiss they'd shared, of their last moments together. He clasped the necklace she'd given him before the final assault, the crystal from Bakara and the piece of his old visor. She asked him to save it for her, to protect it, and she would be back for it, she promised she would come back. He held his hand to his face, he didn't even try to fight the tears. It wasn't like him to cry, but the closer they got to earth…the less likely it seemed he could ever regain the love of his life.

She'd changed him so much, and almost all for the better. He believed in himself and knew he made the right choices, which was something he couldn't say before her. No one would ever have to suffer what he and his family went through ever again thanks to her funding… He braced his hands on the console.

What was he going to do if she really was gone? Could he really pick up the pieces and move on? He was still young, by Turian standards, could he fall in love again? Would he let himself open that much?

He ground his teeth. There was no use thinking about this now. He had to stay hopeful…otherwise all of the time and resources, all the grief...would have been for nothing. They were so close, he couldn't give up now. He clenched the pendants in his fist. He'd been wearing it around with him, it felt like he was keeping her close. He rubbed his thumb against the smooth inside of his old visor, where it felt as though she'd done it hundreds of times before.

He had to stay strong. For her. If she was gone…well, then he would see.


	17. Chapter 15

Shepard's Timeline:

He unlocked the door to her room and strolled right in, she stared up at him from her desk.

"I figured you could use some company. I promise, I'll stay quiet." Garrus sat down in her room, data-pad in hand as he eased onto the couch.

"Garrus, please, I'm really not on the mood." She tried to growl, but he wasn't entirely wrong...she did want him near.

"In the mood for what? I'm just here for moral support." He ignored her and resumed reading her data pad. He felt her staring at him, then he smelled the salt. He turned to look at her, and she was crying. All of the anger and aggression came crashing down at once into what it really was: Fear. Fear of failure, fear of losing everyone she loved.

He stood from the couch and rushed to her side. He held her gently until she stopped. He hated the sound, but it was over quickly. Her ability to cope with massive events like this was awe inspiring.

"Thank you." She said in a soft voice, and sighed. "I think I'm just tired."

He stood away from her and followed her to the bed, he pulled the blanket up to her chin as she laid down.

"Always." He kissed her brow, "I'll wake you when we get close, then you can give us one of your infamous military pep talks." She laughed softly.

He smiled gently as a Turian could and stroked her hair until she fell asleep. He wished she could just stay here, like this, relaxed and calm, safe with him watching over her. He didn't deny the relief he felt in the pit of his stomach, a knot relaxing. He sighed and stood, grabbing his data pad and heading back down to the war room, he had fleets to manage.

* * *

She woke violently from another nightmare. That same little boy…only this time she burned with him. Her heart pounded in her ears. Her room was empty, her terminal blinking. She dressed quickly and went to answer. It was Hackett, time to move. She ran down to the war room to confirm face to face before they set out to hit Cronos station.

"I'm sick of Cerberus always beating us to the punch. But no more, we end this, _now_." She growled, slamming her fist into the war room console, her squad had congregated before her and nodded vehemently.

They'd located Cronos Station, the Illusive mans base. She was ready to put a bullet in the bastards head, as well as run Kai Leng through with his own sword. She was almost surprised with her own aggression, but everyone had a breaking point. She guessed that losing a planet and a few good friends was hers. She felt her blood boiling, and knew she needed to calm down. But she couldn't. Not when she thought of everything that had happened.

Joker was upset, to say the least, at the thought of her bringing his girlfriend to the base.

"It was her idea, and you should trust her enough to make this choice." He withdrew, begrudgingly. As soon as EDI was out of earshot, Joker piped back up.

"Keep her safe…"

"Of course." She patted him gently on the shoulder before joining EDI and Garrus on the shuttle in.

After a not so soft landing, they made their way through the hangar. They reprogrammed the fighter and it tore through the ship like paper. She cheered and leapt into the air. At least, until the atlas crawled through the ruins. They made short work of it and followed the carnage the ship left behind, stopping at various terminals. She learned a few interesting facts about EDI, and a few about herself.

She was so happy to have had Garrus there with her, he knew exactly what to say to make her feel better, yet again.

" _I could've taken her..."_ Kai Leng said over the video. Shepard laughed darkly, "That's cute."

Everyone cursed under their breath when the stumbled upon the human reaper, well, what was left of it. She was amazed they'd been able to salvage even this much after she'd destroyed the base. But, if nothing else, the Illusive Man had proven himself rather resourceful.

As they approached the final door, her eyes glanced off down a hallway and she paused. She blinked and shook her head, rubbed her eyes, then looked again.

"You ok?" Garrus was at her side in an instant.

"Yeah…just…seeing things I guess." She laughed it off. "Or maybe it was a reflection, I don't know."

She opened the door and they headed up the ramp, ready to take on the Illusive Man and Kai Leng.

But the room was empty. She didn't waste time. She sat down and immediately set to work.

"Shepard. You're in my chair." The Illusive Mans voice was toxic behind her. She grinned and turned the chair to face the hologram.

"It's not nearly as comfortable as I'd always imagined." Stacked her fingers in a pyramid like he'd always done to her, "And it's about the only damn thing you have left in this galaxy."

He accused her, she accused him, they went back and forth until she heard enough.

"It's not that simple." He shook his head.

"Yes it is, it _is that simple._ We are busy fighting each other while the reapers occupy earth. How exactly does that uplift humanity?" She snapped.

"Your…admirable Shepard." He muttered until the VI popped up, "Enjoy your little chat."

The citadel, _that_ was the catalyst. She almost had to laugh, of course the reaper forces centered around earth. She was mid sentence with EDI when Kai Leng dropped in. He slammed his fist into the ground and looked up at her, his brow drawn down hard, his teeth clenched.

"What an adorable little tantrum. Is it because daddy left you behind?" She taunted, training her gun to him. He charged without a second thought.

She didn't stop her trash talk through the entire fight. She wanted him mad, she wanted him reckless, because that's what she felt. She knew she was getting to him, more and more of their shots made it through. And when he got close, her fist connected more and more. She was used to fighting angry, and clearly he was not.

When he finally dropped, she went back and sat down in the chair, resuming her typing, trying to connect with Hackett to alert him of the change in events.

She heard the scrape of the sword on the glass tiles and was glad Garrus and EDI were so absorbed into the terminals around the room, this kill was hers. She didn't move. She wanted him in close. It was payback time. The instant he sucked in his breath to strike, she moved swift as lightning. She pivoted up from the chair, her gauntlet shattering the sword and her omni-blade sank deep into his abdomen. He would bleed slowly, painfully.

"This is for Thane, you son of a bitch." She growled in his ear as he dropped to the ground. She kicked his sword away from him, leaving him defenseless as he bled. They spoke briefly with Vigil once more before leaving, Kai Leng dead on the floor.

* * *

She laid back on her bed and stared up through the large window over her bed. There was nothing left now. Everything was settled, everything was ready, they just had to meet with the rest of the fleets. She hoped they'd done enough. Her door slid opened and Garrus walked in and joined her, laying on his back beside her.

"Hey." He grumbled.

"Hey." She smiled and looked over at him.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." She laughed.

"It just occurred to me, I never said it back." He turned to face her, bracing himself on his arm, "I love you, Arri Shepard."

Her heart fluttered and she closed her eyes. "Say it again."

He rolled over her and brushed a feather light kiss on her forehead, "I love you."

She reached her arms up and pulled him down to her for a long, lazy kiss.

"You know, we can't keep going this long." He grumbled, teasing, "I have needs you know."

"You hush." She laughed and poked him in the ribs.

"Hey, don't start. We already know who wins that one." He pressed lightly on her ribs and she pressed harder against him.

"As long as it ends the same as last time what does it matter?" She grinned up at him, running her fingers gently down his shoulders. He cleared his throat, "You cheater. That's the closest you can get to a blush isn't it?"

He lifted her shirt over her head in a smooth motion, unhooking her bra with little difficulty and burying his face into her breasts, rapidly changing the subject. He could honestly spend the rest of his life hiding right there. He traced his tongue lazily in circles, nipping gently here and there. She trembled softly and ran her hands lightly down his shoulders. He knew they didn't have a lot of time, but he'd been patient enough. He was going to be sure to drink his fill of her, and she seemed like she'd be happy to oblige

He wrapped an arm around her, cradling her tightly against his chest, his face buried deep into her neck. He ran his hands down her stomach and hooked his finger through her shorts and panties, pulling them off in one smooth motion and tossing them to the floor. He rubbed his fingers against her gently and she pressed back against his hand eagerly, a soft sound escaping her lips. He vowed to himself that he would never let her cry again, but that he would have her make that sound as often as possible.

He slipped his finger slowly inside of her, her back arching in response. She gasped out and pressed against him firmly. He would never tire of that sound. He leaned back to watch his finger slide in and out of her, the reactions she made, the way her body trembled. It was intoxicating.

"Garrus..." She huffed out, gripping her pillow, "That's embarrassing."

"Tell me you don't like it, and I'll stop." She shuddered and her eyes slammed shut, a heavy blush across her face as he lifted her leg up to give himself a better view.

"I..." She trembled, her body responding to an unknown desire, "...oh..."

He clenched his teeth to restrain himself as she began to ride against his hand, taking her pleasure from him before his very eyes. It washed over her quickly, she tightened her grip on the pillow and buried her face to muffle her cries. He set her leg down and turned her chin to face him.

"Don't hide that sound." He growled at her, "I love it and I want to hear each and every cry of pleasure I give you."

She panted to catch her breath before pushing off the bed and pinning him beneath her. She pulled his shirt awkwardly over his head, but he had to help her with his pants. He was already rock hard beneath his clothes and his breath rushed out of him in one solid breath as she straddled him and slid down his length slowly, gasping out her cry.

"Oh Spirits Garrus..." She groaned as she pressed her hips against his. She began to ride him hard, his head tossed back, his talons digging into her hips. He clenched his jaw and groaned low, the sound reverberating through his chest. "I love the sounds you make..." She moaned, bracing her hand against his chest plates as she rode him harder.

He tried to keep his head up to watch her, but the feel of her riding him, the sight of her gliding over him, her hair tousled and cascading down her back and over her shoulders, framing her face. He reached up, running his hands all over her. Her soft skin had a faint sheen of sweat, her mouth soft and open, her eyelashes fluttering.

He felt her muscles tighten as she climbed towards her climax. Her whole body shook with it, a choked cry came from her lips, dragging her along with him.

He fell back along the bed, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her back with him. She lay breathless against his chest, little stars dancing behind her eyes. She laughed softly.

"Damn, Vakarian. You're a regular pro." She lifted herself to cross her arms over his chest, she looked down at him.

"I do what I can." He grinned.

"You do well." She kissed the ridge on his chest and laid her head back down.

He ran his fingers through her long hair. It was so fascinating, so wonderful the way it slid between his fingers with no effort. He brought the strands to his lips. He was on cloud nine, the feel of her relaxed against him, cradled in his arms. He never wanted the moment to end.

"Well... I should probably go and see Chackwas." He looked at her curious when she pulled away. She raised an eyebrow and he realized what she meant. He cleared his throat.

"Uh...yeah that's probably a good idea..." He stood and handed her her pants as she donned her top. "Don't need you having an allergic reaction in the middle of the fight."

She rolled her eyes and pulled her shirt over her head. "That would just be insulting."

* * *

She made her rounds to her crew, said her goodbyes. She didn't know why she felt the need to do so, but she did. There was nothing else for her to do on the way to earth. She shared a moment with Garrus and Tali before Joker piped up and informed them that they were almost at earth. She smiled at the two and went down to grab her gear.

And damn did it feel good to rocket through the Sol relay with the might of thousands behind her, ready to bear down on the Reapers. For once they had listened, she'd had to fight like hell, but this time it actually worked. She cracked her knuckles.

"Let's do this."


	18. Chapter 16

** Finale **

Purgatory:

The screen she had been watching cut to black. She looked curiously at Mordin.

"That's all there is Shepard. The rest you have just lived." He smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh…" She was hoping to see her final moment with Garrus, her final words with everyone back on Earth. "So...What next?"

"Now we wait." Thane rested on his elbows against the bar. The other two did the same. She looked between the three.

"Wait for what?" She stood. She felt…odd. Her chest was tight and she was having trouble catching her breath.

"Looks like we won't have to wait long." Ashley laughed. She looked at the girl strangely, and she tried to retort, but she couldn't breathe.

"Just relax, Siha. Allow it to run its course." She looked up at Thane panicked.

The fog erupted around them, swirling violently and whipping her hair into her eyes. She collapsed to her knees, there was so much pain. The fog formed one last sight, she hovered over it like a dream.

Large chunks of rubble, shrapnel, pieces of metal still falling from the sky. It was earth, the shrapnel was the remains of the Citadel. Her hand gripped her right arm, it felt like it was on fire. She clenched her teeth, and tasted blood. There, just beside an ugly shard of metal, was a woman's body. She looked closer. No…it was hers…

A large block of concrete had landed on her legs and a smaller piece across her chest. The large, jagged piece hid her right arm, her hair was matted to her face with the blood from some unseen head wound, her eyes open, hollow.

"That's…." She managed to gasp out.

"30 minutes are up, Shepard." Mordin smiled and the ground gave way beneath her.

Air ripped its way into her lungs, setting fire to her body as everything started to wake up. It was the most pain shed ever felt. The world was hazy, she managed to push the piece of concrete from her chest before her strength was drained, her lungs now able to fully inflate. She couldn't move her legs, she couldn't move her arm. Her head rolled back to the right, her vision blurring in and out, the metal chunk was embedded deep in her arm. Tears flowed freely from the pain and the fear. As soon as she managed to regain her breath…she couldn't stop screaming.

To be continued...

*** Thank you so much for reading! I am working on the final in my 3 part fic and I should have it out soon! Thank you for all of your support! Please PM me suggestions/comments!


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